Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Hello... My Name is Maria and I'm an carb addict
I've been hearing alot about denial these days and I'm here to tell you that denial is not one of my issues. I know I'm fat, have been for most of my life. I don't need strangers, "Frienemies", Or anyone else telling me that I'm fat like I don't own a mirror. Does it make people feel good about themselves to point out the flaws they see in others? I may be fat but I'm also banding together with my "Band-aids", and my "Band-leader" to change my future and enjoy my 2nd chance. Denial... They say it's not just a river in Egypt and they sure are right... I know denile well. I used to deny that I was a carb addict, enjoy life and food saying I can always lose whatever weight I gain, Life's not worth living unless you are really "living", I'm just volumptious, I hardly eat at all, I just eat at the wrong times or don't eat enough to reve up my metabolism... Denial. I am an addict and my drug of choice is food... Carbs specifically. I love chicken but fried tastes better, I didn't think I could love turkey more until I had it deep-fried. I love Cake, cookies, chocolate, etc. Need I go on? I think you get the long-winded point. I have a lifetime of memories centered around food... family=food. Family=comfort, Food=comfort... I have been very shocked by how easy it is to kick the physical hunger... but the psychochological hunger has been more difficult. I keep thinking of the feelings that certain food brought me... I miss warm rolls and butter. They gave me such a warm cuddly feeling inside. Sugar could always give me a pick me up but especially those frozen coffee drinks from Bad Ass Coffee Co... and Cake of any kind, what is a celebration without it?, Movies were always accompanied by buttery popcorn and candy... and What are buffets without the "All you can eat" challenge? Pie gives you all the comforts of home and Soft pretzels give me back my Philly roots for a short minute, and Spaetzle gives me back my German Hertitage for a little bit... Juicy fruit gum reminds me of my Mom Mom... I could go on but you look very bored and a little hungry. I am a work in progress... eating grilled chicken and broccoli while thinking about cupcakes.