Thursday, January 17, 2013

Well, The Verdict is....

Gastric Sleeve... That is my next step. It seems with the damage from my lapband and my hernia repair makes the gastric bypass too risky so I decided that the sleeve will be a great compromise. I will have to have it done open instead of laparoscopically. Which will cause a longer recovery time and more scarring.... but since my stomach looks like a world map at this point so who cares about that part. So my insurance company started covering the sleeve a week ago so they are putting it through to be approved... and I should be scheduled for surgery next month. All in All... Very Good News! So thanx for all the support, prayers, and well wishes during this incredibly stressful, traumatic time. XOXO *M*

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Nervous.... but Anticipating an Answer of some sort.

Well, Tomorrow is my follow up with my Surgeon... I am nervous, but glad that my Anxiety Disorder will have less fuel.... I am anxious to get some answers but scared that I won't like what I'll hear. Could all this be happening because of my food addiction? I mean it's still there under the surface, not far under the surface either... I need help, with WLS it was way more controllable, And I need more control, way more control! Please... Oh Please, Don't let him fire me. I don't want to start over... I want to get my old tired journey over, and start whatever may be my new one...

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

How I'm Feeling?....

Well, I went to the hospital to have my surgery today.... I was stuck with IVs and needles, including an Epidural in my back. I was cut with 2 incisions... and the Surgeon couldn't do the Gastric Bypass because I have too much Scar Tissue from my LapBand. My Insurance doesn't pay for the Gastric Sleeve yet, but hopefully soon.... So, 

  1. I am Feeling.... Sore
  2. I am Feeling... Helpless
  3. I am Feeling... Depressed
  4. I am Feeling... Traumatized
  5. I am Feeling... Annoyed
  6. I am Feeling... Hurt
  7. I am Feeling... Beaten
  8. I am Feeling.... Fat
  9. I am Feeling... Sad
  10. I am Feeling... Alone
  11. I am Feeling... Hopeless
  12. I am Feeling....Confused
  13. I am Feeling... Incurable
  14. I am Feeling...Vulnerable
  15. I am Feeling...  Incomplete
But Most of all.... I am Feeling Sorry For Myself! Hopefully, After a good night's sleep... I will Awake with a Fresh Perspective. Until Then... Color me BLUE

Monday, January 7, 2013

Tomorrow... Is the Day!

Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I love ya Tomorrow, You're only a Day away! I am nervous, but I am more excited.... I will start my new chapter of this journey tomorrow when I have my Gastric Bypass surgery, Those of you who have followed me since the beginning know that I went to my original surgeon for Gastric Bypass years ago, but he encouraged me to have the lap-band and the adjust-ability sounded nice. I should of stuck to my guns and I would probably be near or at goal by now... But I would never have gotten to meet alot of you amazing folks, if I wasn't a Bandster for those 2 1/2 years. And my new surgeon says he can't believe how successful I was with my band, so I think I have a great foundation for this to work long term. I am anxious... excited... relieved... and looking forward to being on the other side of this surgery, tomorrow night.... Wish Me Luck! I love you guys!

Friday, January 4, 2013

Update... and getting excited.

Well... I am still doing ok with my pre-op diet, but it looks like I will be doing it for one extra day... They moved my surgery to Tuesday instead of Monday.... I am looking forward to being on the other side of this hill, riding down the downhill part for a few weeks. Maybe not, downhill pain-wise, but definitely hunger-wise. Keep your fingers crossed....