Monday, May 31, 2010
Well, We had a great time in Miami... An amazing time, actually. The Philadelphia Phillies'(Our Baseball team) Pitcher, Roy Halladay, had a perfect game friday night, and we were there to see it. It is incredible! Since It is only the 20th time in Major League baseball history that it happened, the last time it happened twice in one season was 1880, and this was the first time it happened twice in one month. George and I are big Phillies' fans, actually all the Philadelphia sports teams so since moving 1000 miles away from our hometown 10 years ago, meant we try to see them play on the road whenever we can. This weekend we saw them play twice and went to the Hall & Oates concert. Besides the thrill of seeing that perfect game, I didn't get any snacks at the ballgame, either one... They are expensive and not very healthy so I ate a haelthy meal before and after the game. We hit 2 different diners, which I love. You can get homemade meals like Mom used to make for a very reasonable price. So I was good... Well, This thursday is my next follow up appt. and I find out how much weight I've lost this last month. That's right... I only get weighed at the doctor's office. I thought about buying a scale but i thought that I'd get obsessed and weigh myself 1000 times a day. So, instead I obsess over these monthly visits and what would be an acceptable amount of weight loss for a month. I think I'll eventually get a scale but I also thought that I may see that I am doing well and slack off... So Scaleless as i am, I am succeeding so far. I may consider getting another fill thursday also if I didn't lose at least 10 pounds since last month's weigh-in. I thought that 2 1/2 pounds a week is a good amount to continue to lose. I have alot of weight to lose, much more than my fellow band bloggers but I am willing to be patient since my health has improved so much these last 2 1/2 months since my surgery. Baby steps, right? I feel like I'm doing very well but don't notice alot of changing in my body yet. People tell me all the time that I look great and how much have i lost now? but they know I've had surgery so I think they think they're supposed to say that to be supportive. Actually, I've been told I look like I've lost weight often throughout my overweight years, I think people assume that people who are fat always are trying to lose weight so mentioning that they look like they have lost weight is the best compliment you can give them. It always confused me, since I hadn't lost weight... you know, boy who cried wolf and all. I'm thinking about making a vision journal and putting "wish" things in to keep me encouraged and keeping my eye on the goal instead of the chocolate. Well, I did join the YMCA, I am starting to work out regularly this week. I have been walking alot more and knew that the Y was somewhere that I could feel comfortable in(most everyone working out there were normal folk who were fighting the battle of the bulge like me) and i can grow there since they have classes for people of all fitness levels. Also they have a pool for water aerobics and cycling since my knees are not good. I was watching Ruby and they keep showing her in so much denial, which i totally understand since I used to believe that I didn't eat alot or the wrong things... I know now, that i ate alot more than I thought... Since I now eat very little compared to how much I used to eat. It didn't matter that everyone else ate the same amount because they may be more active than me or have a faster metabolism. I needed to learn moderation, someday I may be able to have a little of this or a little of that and not end up with my hand stuck in the bottom of a pringle can or in a sugar coma. but not today.... Even though I'm not there yet, I'm on my way.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Well, here is my BYOC for this week... 1)If you were a flower, which one would it be and why? This one was difficult...First I thought, maybe A Daisy. It is a happy, cheerful flower and I tend to be a look on the bright side kinda gal, I was born in June and Rose is my month's flower and it smell's so good but I adore Hibiscus and they are so resistant and beautiful. They love the sun and so do I. So I could either grow a hybrid flower or choose one. I can't be put into one box, i would be a different flower each day. Today, I'm a Hibiscus. 2)Which Sex in the City Character do you most relate to and why? This is another Box Question... I have Samantha's sex drive, Miranda's dry wit and red hair, Charlotte's nuturing nature and Carrie's love of life. I also don't have Samantha's fear of committment, Miranda's work ambition, Charlotte's Maternal instincts, and Carrie's love of designer fashion... I am not sure how to answer this without saying I am a combo of all of them and none of them... LOL 3)If you had a crystal ball and could know one thing about the future what would it be? Tomorrow's Powerball numbers would be nice... 4)What is your biggest fear in your weight loss journey? One word... Failure. I wanted to take the leap and get my health back so after going through with getting the band if I failed and didn't feel better, or felt worse, didn't lose weight or gained weight... but I already feel 100% better and am happy with my weight loss so far. So Failure is not an option... I invented the phrase... Self power which is a combination of will power and self control. I have self power and that's all it takes to be in a better, heathier place in my life. I am also afraid that I will begin dressed too young because my weight has kept me out of the cute outfits in my teens and twenties so I would still like to wear them... but in my 40's, yuck! 5)Repeat question: Whose blog or comment spoke to you the most this week and why? The blog that spoke the most to me this week was Stef's blog asking you all to check out my blog... I still can't believe the support and friendship I have found writing this blog... Not only is writing this blog therapeutic but I believe I have found kindred spirits to take along this journey with me. And alot of you came to meet me because Stephanie introduced us... I am not alone in my quest. You are the wind beneath my wings... too cheesy? Too Bad! Grace's blogs about her struggle after losing her love, Tiffany have also caused me to think about losing George in one way or another and It makes me feel dead inside even thinking about that... We all love you Grace and hope you lean on us when you need to....
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
I gotta start by saying thank you to my very special bandaids who helped me realize what in God's name was happening to me at Bob Evans last night... A simple PB. Mystery solved... thanx to Stephanie(Skinny High Heels), Band Groupie, and Tessie Rose... Fabulous Bandaids! It was wonderful to have somewhere to go to find out what my body is doing... since my Doctor expelains alot but you really have to know what to ask. I appreciate the help! I am more prepared for what comes next thanx to my friends in the Blogosphere. Other than the traumatic first PB, everything is good. I'm still on track and thinking about not getting another fill for a while but I will make my final decision when i hear what the scale has to say the first week of June. My husband George and I are headed down to South Florida this weekend to see some Phillies/Marlins baseball games and Hall & Oates in concert. It will be a nice romantic getaway. We love to travel and are planning a few more trips this year. I am hoping to lose some more weight and be able to get around better to really enjoy our adventureous life... My knees are really bad. I fell like 6 years ago and damaged them and this extra weight is hard to handle on them. I hope I will start feeling less and less pain after I keep losing weight. i would love to run around playing with my amazing nephews... Dreams of what's to come...
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Gross Alert! Gross Alert! I was wondering.... I think I may have experienced sliming for the first time tonight. I was eating flounder and broccoli but have a few sweet potato fries... Anyway, I love sweet potatoes... fries was where I went wrong. I chewed and chewed and chewed but I felt likt something was stuck in my throat, or somewhere lower... I mean it didn't feel the same as getting things caught in my throat before PennyLane(my band) came into my life. So I coughed a couple of times and it came up in a ball like a cat with a hairball... I didn't feel better and it happened again within a few minutes. I am freaked out, I mean it didn't hurt coming up or taste horrible like vomit... I spit it into a napkin. I'm not sure why it happened or if it was the sliming I've read about in several of your blogs... Afterward, I felt a little better but didn't want to eat anymore. I felt like I had a fever too and felt a little sick to my stomach for a while. I think I lost alot of my protein from my meal since I always eat the protein first. Anyway, Was my experience tonight a sliming experience? Was I stuck? or a combination of the two? There was mucus involved so I thought... Mucus is slimey... but I am new to all of this stuff... HELP! I would like to know what might have caused this so I can try to prevent a repeat performance.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Well... I saw Just Wright tonight and It was a great story. Why are there so few "Chubby" leading ladies? Doesn't love come in all shapes and sizes? Does someone having a few extra pounds mean they don't deserve love? Does someone having a curvy body mean they are less attractive than their thinner counterpart? I don't think so... I have been overweight all of my dating life and never had a problem landing a man. In fact, my husband couldn't care less if I lose this weight and thinks I'm beautiful no matter what. He's very handsome and easily could have gotten himself a skinny girl... but he fell for me. He's not a "chubby chaser", I'm the only girl he's dated that isn't "normal" sized, if there is such a thing. It just bothers me that hollywood makes people believe that you have to see bones through your skin in order to be beautiful. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes... I love Queen Latifah for breaking through that stereotype. She's a beautiful leading lady, she's curvy, she's sexy... She is on the big screen and falling in love with the gorgeous leading man. I want more of the curvy leading ladies... and I want their love affairs to not be in spite of being fat but because they're beautiful inside and out. Does fat have to enter into everything? I want to ignore the fact that I'm fat but now that my health has suffered... How can I? I can't refuse to lose weight to prove to the world that beauty comes from within.... I am beautiful...We all are. And now we're getting healthier and can do more, enjoy life more, challenge ourselves and feel better about ourselves and our health. I hate that people are so superficial.... but reading all your blogs has shown me that I'm not the only curvy chick that's found her Prince Charming... We are loved deeply, and appreciated for our beauty. We took control of our destiny and are fighting against the odds. We are all incredible, amazing, sexy, gorgeous, seductive, thoughtful, caring, loving, charismatic, vibrant women. We are all leading ladies in our own romantic comedies... Sometimes we have a little more comedy, than romance...but what good story doesn't?
Sunday, May 23, 2010
I am full of hope and promise today... which is good. I have days which are more of a struggle but this was an easy one. I went to lunch with some friends at Chilis and ate almost have of my grilled chicken and broccoli... which means leftovers. I love leftovers these days. It makes me feel like I'm saving money and eating less. I hardly ever brought leftovers home before my surgery and told myself that the food tastes better right after it's made... SO NOT TRUE! I love leftover chinese now. Especially pepper steak. I can't have alot of the sauce and they switch out the onions for broccoli... but I am used to the no rice thing already. I never expected that... I loved Rice in my old life and thought it would be the hardest thing to give up. It expands in your stomach so even if I could do the carbs... My surgeon has me on a low carb diet which consists on mainly meat... and if it ain't broke don't fix it. My Mom makes awesome homemade chicken salad which I eat on pickle chips like a cracker. It is yummy, for sure. I eat Tuna that way too. Anyway, I want to join the YMCA and I need to go take a tour... Note to self: Make time to get your work out place set up... They have 2 pools, and many classes like Zumba, Latin Dance and Cardio, and Belly Dancing for fitness. Has anyone ever belly danced for fitness... It sounds fun! I hate working out so fun in where it's at. I am headed to the movies tomorrow with the Hubby... I look forward to it and take in my snacks but I love the popcorn.... alot. It is so hard smelling it. So I sometimes chew it and spit it out.... I know, Way Gross! You have to do what you have to do... Sacrifice in it's simpliest terms, all the taste and none of the calories/carbs... It's a hard road but somebody's got to take it.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
I am so thankful that I found this supportive community! You guys are the wind beneath my wings and I ain't a lightweight yet so the burden is great helping me fly. I saw a question weeks ago on BYOC... It was "What was the last straw that finally made you decide to get the lapband?" I can't say that it was one thing or another...just too many things to be honest. I love to travel and was finally confronted by an overzealous airline employee who asked me if I bought 2 seats... that was a big embarrassing moment! I asked myself why was it embarrassing? I mean, You're fat and everyone can see that so the crowd overhearing her ask you if you bought 2 seats shouldn't make you embarrassed... but it did. I have a huge fear every time I fly and that fear finally came to light! Anyway, I love to eat out at restaurants and I love booths, when they became uncomfortable for me to sit in, I didn't wait to start sitting elsewhere... so i sat uncomfortable until it was too uncomfortable to bear. I'm back in booths already least than 2 months after my surgery. And.... I started feeling uncomfortable eating "treats" in front of others... cake, cookies, candy, etc made me want to eat in secret... once that started coming on I knew I had to do something about my weight. I couldn't dress cute anymore... I could buy cute things but they didn't look cute on me... like they did on the hanger. I couldn't fit in movie theater, stadium, or theatre seats so I always came in my wheelchair which made me even less active and made me gain more weight... Vicious cycle. Let me stop rambling.... I could go on forever telling you all that my weight has limited me from doing or seeing. The Straw that broke the camel's back was me... I broke the camel's back, literally. I am too heavy to ride a camel when we go to Egypt or ride a horse on the beach in Hawaii... The adventureous life I picture for myself has me still jiggly but thinner.... much thinner. And I am on my way!
Well, this week I found an incredible new tool on my Iphone... It's the myfitnesspal app... It is a free app that counts my calories, protein, carbs, water intake, and exercise... and it knows everything about "everything"... I absolutely love it. I was afraid I was eating too much each day but it turns out I am eating less calories than I thought and my everyday chores like walking are burning more calories than I thought. It lets me check out how many calories in fast food items at all the major fast food joints and make great choices on the go too... I was thrilled to find out that Chick fila chicken nuggets are only 270 for 8 nuggets and 28 grams of protein. I can still eat them and stay on track with a side salad and a Dasani... It makes a great lunch. Anyway, I know most of you probably already are in the know about this app but please let me gust for a moment. It does make my life alot easier. I was even able to have a piece of brownie earlier... It told me the brand and type and I had been staring at them for hours at my scrapbook midnight crop tonight. I love brownies... and I'm well under my calories for the day. I am glad I ate that brownie.... I love my life, It was yummy! And the old me would have gone back for more and more and more. but not the new me. Thanx for all the support... I feel great!
Friday, May 21, 2010
I've been loving reading all your blogs... and I am going to try this BYOC Friday thing. 1)If you have 3 wishes what would they be and why?(YOu can't wish for more wishes or money... I wish for more time with my Dad, He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and was gone 46 days later, He could have met his grandsons and enjoyed some retirement since he worked hard his whole life. Second wish would be... I would love to travel around the world with my husband, I love to experience different cultures and see all the beauty that the world has to offer. My 3rd wish would be for an end to indifference in the world, I think indifference causes more problems in this world than violence, hatred, etc because it affects many more people. 2)If you had all the money in the world and perfect circumstances how many children would you have and what sex? This is a tough one... We never thought about having children but I would like 2, one boy and a younger girl which tells you why we shouldn't have children at all... and we don't have any. 3)Have you ever faked it? I'm multi-orgasmic... so I never had to fake it. I don't think that's something you should start doing or you may never get to have one again. TMI? 4) What movie character do you think you look like and why? Pippi Longstocking, because of her redhair sticking out all over, she doesn't have any fashion sense, she's independent and tough, but sweet and generous... and she has travelled all over the world with her pirate father... 5)Which blog or comment spoke to you this week and why? I found Amy(in the land of cheetos and sunkist) this week... I heard myself in her vlog and her profile, lost myself in her blogs, and was deeply inspired by her 140 pound lost bikini photos... WOW! She rocks! I think the comments of encouragement for me especially from Fiona made me feel proud of my accomphishments and look forward to some bathing suit photos of my own one day without hiding behind my husband or a giant wave.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
I am Aunt Maria again... My brother and his wife just had their 2nd baby boy after 26 grueling hours of labor. His name is Blake Hayden Fleig. He was 9 lbs 1 ounce and 22 inches long. So beautiful... Isn't he? I am a excited Aunt. I have a 20 year old niece, Nicole and a 2 year old nephew, Chase. So Blake is my third. I can't wait to meet him, but since he lives 1000 miles away... I have to wait til August. Congratulations to my brother Dave and his wife Tobi!
I've been hearing alot about denial these days and I'm here to tell you that denial is not one of my issues. I know I'm fat, have been for most of my life. I don't need strangers, "Frienemies", Or anyone else telling me that I'm fat like I don't own a mirror. Does it make people feel good about themselves to point out the flaws they see in others? I may be fat but I'm also banding together with my "Band-aids", and my "Band-leader" to change my future and enjoy my 2nd chance. Denial... They say it's not just a river in Egypt and they sure are right... I know denile well. I used to deny that I was a carb addict, enjoy life and food saying I can always lose whatever weight I gain, Life's not worth living unless you are really "living", I'm just volumptious, I hardly eat at all, I just eat at the wrong times or don't eat enough to reve up my metabolism... Denial. I am an addict and my drug of choice is food... Carbs specifically. I love chicken but fried tastes better, I didn't think I could love turkey more until I had it deep-fried. I love Cake, cookies, chocolate, etc. Need I go on? I think you get the long-winded point. I have a lifetime of memories centered around food... family=food. Family=comfort, Food=comfort... I have been very shocked by how easy it is to kick the physical hunger... but the psychochological hunger has been more difficult. I keep thinking of the feelings that certain food brought me... I miss warm rolls and butter. They gave me such a warm cuddly feeling inside. Sugar could always give me a pick me up but especially those frozen coffee drinks from Bad Ass Coffee Co... and Cake of any kind, what is a celebration without it?, Movies were always accompanied by buttery popcorn and candy... and What are buffets without the "All you can eat" challenge? Pie gives you all the comforts of home and Soft pretzels give me back my Philly roots for a short minute, and Spaetzle gives me back my German Hertitage for a little bit... Juicy fruit gum reminds me of my Mom Mom... I could go on but you look very bored and a little hungry. I am a work in progress... eating grilled chicken and broccoli while thinking about cupcakes.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
I find that on weekends since we spend so much time at home around the house... I feel hungry more often and eat more. I like the schedules of being out and about since I am distracted from the food more. I go scrapbooking all day and we eat once in the morning and once in the evening. I eat smaller meals and less often. I don't crave snacks and other carbs. I shouldn't eat out all the time but surprisingly I eat healthy in restaurants and when I have leftovers... This sounds ridiculous, right? I don't know why this happens. I am also struggling to get used to the small portions that I am supposed to eat as well. I feel hungry still... I think I need another fill when I visit the doctor next. Tomorrow is monday and I will start anew... Eating well to enhance my weight loss... that is. I know that each step I take is one step closer to my goals... but some days the steps seems more like walking up the side of a mountain... I need to get better at this Eat to Live not Live to Eat thing... Positive thoughts!!! I am powerful and can overcome any obstacle! Please tell me it gets easier, Girls?
Saturday, May 15, 2010
I'm from Philly, born and raised... I moved to Orlando, Florida almost a decade ago but one thing you should know about Philly folk is... You may leave the city but you never leave the teams. So we always follow the Flyers, The Phillies, and the Eagles... Which means a couple of things in the real world: Going to sporting events is difficult when you're watching what you eat, Mood changes in you household(My husband is Bipolar-Winning or Losing are the poles/extremes), and Never let them see you choke... I love sports live but on the TV, not so much. Our Flyers just came back to win their playoffs series when they were behind by 3 games to 0... best out of 7... They won 4 in a row and came back from being behind by 3 in the last game to win the series. What will happen in the next round... we don't know. I love my husband but whether the team wins or loses... we will survive it... We don't need to throw our world into a uproar if we lose. To be fair, as the season comes closer to it's end... that is when the stress gets higher. If the Phillies lose during regular season...OK... If the Phillies lose during the World Series... NOT OK. I guess it's nice to have so much passion, but refusing to shave or wear a different shirt because it will jynx the team... too far. My poor dog's Flyers shirt was taken off him immediately when the Flyers lost the 2nd game in this playoff series... and they still lost the 3rd after they were no longer jynxed by our sweet loveable pup... To sum it up for all you sleeping bloggies out there, The Flyers won their playoff series and are moving on to the next round so Cloud 9 marriage continues... So far no stress eating, depression eating, anger eating, emotional tremoil eating, why doesn't he shut the fuck up eating?...... GO FLYERS!!!!!!!
Friday, May 14, 2010
I am eating out too often this week. I try hard to eat healthy at restaurants but basically end up eating the same thing... Grilled chicken and broccoli or a salad. I love it's but not very exciting. i was at Bahama Breeze today and I love it there but when i asked the server what was most healthy or for a nutritional fact sheet... He laughed and said that "nothing was nutritional here"... Not something that should be said with pride. I ended up getting a salad and picking off my husband's plate. He had mashed sweet potatoes which I love but am not really supposed to have so i just have a spoonful or two and I have a little of his chicken. What an inexpensive way to eat out... It was like $14.52 for the bill before our tip. I am scrapbooking all day tomorrow. It's a very therapeutic hobby for me. I am scrapbooking my weight loss journey and did my first layout of my pre-op visit. It looks adorable. I was so nervous and excited that day knowing that the surgery was the next day, like it was "the first day of the rest of my life" and it was. Anyway, I think I need another fill, my restriction is not very good, yet...
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Do any of you have a husband who can eat whatever he wants and not gain an ounce? We all know the types... You keep telling yourself it will catch up with them, but it never does. My husband, George, is the love of my life... he's my best friend and soulmate. I am so happy spending my life with him but spending my meals with him... not so much. He likes mostly carbs... everything I can no longer eat and many things which I didn't even attempt to eat before the "Band". He hasn't hardly gained a pound in the almost 19 years we've been together. I want him to be happy but I can't share in the snacking anymore so he's feels he has to make up for the financial lose that my band is costing the fast food industry. He eats fast food usually twice a day and snacks on chips and candy when he's not gulping Cherry Cokes. Do I sound resentful?... I shouldn't be. He's really supportive of me, finishing off the whole cheesecake slice that we once shared... How thoughtful. Anyway, I'm not bitter... He usually keeps the snacking in his "Man Cave" and doesn't shove it down my throat, figuratively or literally... On a positive note, I love to eating out in restaurants and one I like is MiMi's Cafe, They have this chocolate moose that is "to die for"... I thought I had had my last taste but it turns out that it is on their light and fit menu...Petite(About the size of a scoop of ice cream) Chocolate Moose with sliced strawberries in syrup... 131 calories and only 13 carbs. It's true, I read it twice to make sure. It seems too good to be true but they also have lemon moose and raspberry moose... all low in calories and carbs. I never met a carb I didn't like... and I look forward to treating myself to that yummy moose soon...
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Well, As a scrapbooker, I see inspiration in everyday things... On this weight loss journey, I am also finding inspiration in many different things. I am an avid watcher of Dancing with the Stars and never miss an episode. I vote by phone, text, and internet... Sound obsessive? Well, you're lucky I didn't tell you that I also use my husband's phone to call and text votes. Anyway, The sparkly, barely there costumes on the gorgeous female professional dancers, inspire me to keep my eye on the prize and lose the weight... Will I end up dancing on the ballroom circuit if I lose the weight... Not so much... but inspiring none the less. I love to dance and my weight makes it a very brief activity which typically ends with hyper-ventilation... Well, lets get back to the everyday inspirations... Clothes and bathing suit shopping are fearful, anxiety ridden errands that bring no joy... only pain and anguish. Someday, I will enjoy the activities that I could do without now... I want to ride a camel in Egypt, and I don't want to be the "straw" that breaks the camel's back, I want to ride a jetski, without sinking like the Titanic, I want to go on a helicopter tour, without paying for 2 people or plummetting to the ground, I want to sit in a restaurant and eat whatever I want in peace without wondering if the whispers will be loud enough for me to hear this time, I would my little black dress to not be an oxymoron, I want to see the world without feeling worn out, in pain, out of breath, or missing out on life... I am inspired by my own life... My life is a wonderful, joyful, life that I want to turn into overdrive... I want to not have limits... I want to really live... not just exist. I want to be my best "ME"...
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Today is Mother's Day... I am not a mother myself, except being Mommy to my Dog, Jynx(His nickname since he jynxes our sports team when he wears their jersey)... Mr. Q is his hardly used real name/he looks like a Q-Tip... That is so much easier than real motherhood although the reward system is similar... What an amazing, more often than not, thankless profession! I love my mother but sometimes I thank her for passing down the slow metabolism and bad eating habits while wildly rolling my eyes... I am blessed to have her though. She tries to be very supportive of my during this uphill battle I'm on... More on the "do as I say, not as I do" type of support but I'll take it where I can get it. She is so strong and always drops everything to be there for us. When I think about Mothers... I wonder why food is a part of all their celebrations. I mean, They are the ones making all the Christmas cookies, buying all the Easter Candy, giving me a dollar for the ice cream truck, baking me a birthday cake, handing out the Halloween candy, serving up a thanksgiving feast, so they are the ones we thank by taking them to a Mother's Day Brunch... Do you see a pattern here? From when we are just born... Food is made a comfort by our mothers giving us our first sip from the breast to packing us a PB&J with the crusts cut off in our Wonder Woman lunch box... Do you think that Wonder Woman could get into that outfit after eating those hostess twinkies or drinking that cherry kool aid? Probably not, but then Wonder Woman is not a mother either. I need to find comfort in other things, now... A mother's embrace, planning our next trip, a tender kiss, a day at DisneyWorld, A Facebook Poke, my nephew's laugh, my husband's smile, a walk in the park, a day with the girls, a therapeutic scrapbooking session, and last but not least... A sign of relief when I step on the scale. The scale is no longer my Enemy... but a supportive friend who appreciates all my hard work and sacrifice. Is the scale always my friend? We fight but we always make up these days... Ours friendship has alot of ups and downs over the years... We're Frienemies. I am slowly but surely making the scale My Friggin' Bitch! As for today, no buffets or all you can eat brunch for me... But my Mom will know I love her... How many calories does a Smile burn again?
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Let's talk about "Moderation"... I didn't have much use for this term in my old life. I mean... Lays chips bets i can't have just one and they would win that bet. Carbs are my enemy... a lifetime nemesis that has kept me too fat too furious for years... I hate carbs. What ever happened to the Bread of life? I can tell you what happened to it... I ate it. Anyway, I knocked that monkey off my back and told him to take his banana with him. I miss fruit... and chocolate. Which makes Chocolate covered fruit a double whammy! Anyway, I am not very hungry these days anyway after my first fill. A couple months ago before my surgery, I was at the strawberry festival here in Plant City, Florida and was so excited to try Bacon dipped in Chocolate... 2 of my favorites... and it was so yummy! Bacon is the candy of meats, after all... Do you still wonder why I'm Morbidly Obese? What kind of term is that, anyway? Morbidly Obese... I can tell you... Morbidly means death, right? Obese is just another word for Fat.... So I'm too literally too fat to live? Well, those days are behind me... I enjoy my food now... not the anticipation of food like before... but the food itself. I eat slowly and chew completely... It's wonderful! Delicious and I never feel like I have to finish my plate because leftovers are my new best friend. I did really like that Chocolate covered Bacon though...
Well, I was thinking about things that have become a part of my daily life and ... My husband prefers to be naked... all the time if possible. I thought about this while watching him dance around the bedroom naked to Hall & Oates "Maneater". He is comfortable that way and I laugh to myself that this is part of my silly life... watching him dance, do chores, etc... while nude. He is so funny sometimes.... Other Random thoughts... We are both kids at heart... We love Family Guy and Disney... We don't act our age often. It's a fun way to live. I never want to Grow up... not if it means being boring and dull... Also... I love Sparkly things, Shiny, glittery things,... I could be a disco diva if I wasn't a decade late... It don't mean a thing if it don't have that bling! Well, I guess I need to eat. I haven't been hungry since my fill last week. I will tell you more random thoughts later... TTFN... *Maria*
Days go by and I change so slightly that I don't feel any different. It is wonderful to know that the transformation is taking place even though I don't see it. I eat in a different way than before my lapband, food is fuel... not fun. As for the rest of it, I'm still catching up on the money thing... the co-pays and excessive spending is hard to kick. I guess I'm addicted to more than just carbs, more than just food. I like shopping alot... more than I should in our tax bracket. I just love bargain hunting... finding a great sale or even better clearance item. I also love planning... my next vacation getaway. Seeing the world is my dream... We travel as much as we can. It's one of the only reasons I wish I was rich. They say money is the root of all evil, but not having it may be the root of it. George, my husband, is my soulmate... my best friend and biggest fan. He has given me everything I need and most of what I want. I am lucky in love. I hope I'm not boring you with my basic life story... the real story is in the details. So, each day I'll add more details... more miles to my journey.
Friday, May 7, 2010
My story didn't start today but yesterday was just a preview of what's to come... I can't believe I'm here... 6 weeks post-op and 44 pounds lost... so far. I feel great. I love my band and my new life as a band geek. I always hungered for life and adventure but now I no longer hunger for carbs. Carbs are not my friend. They are my nemesis and I refuse to let them win. My weapon is a lapband... It is like a armoured shield... against my slow metabolism and my carb addiction... Anyway, I am going to blog away and I hope that someone wants to listen.