Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Winter?... Wanderland.

I am SICK.... And I guess I knew it would be coming since I have been going outside not dressed warmly enough but this past weekend I bundled up... My New parka that was an amazing gift from the sisterhood, 2 pairs of gloves(Including my fancy new touchscreen capable isotoner gloves from my thoughtful hubby), a scarf, and my Croc snow boots(which keep my feet warm and dry)....but while videotaping my nephews sledding and playing in the snow, my hands started getting more and more cold. I didn't want to miss anything but then my feet started to get colder and colder.

Fast Forward 2 days and I am at my doctor's office begging for drugs... Just a side note, My doctor is like 100 years old. So everything that goes wrong with me is because I am FAT. Even a head cold, i guess. I really need to get a new doctor.... He's is a smart man, graduated from University of Penn in 1949, 20 years before I was even born. But UoP is a great university, incredibly hard to get into especially, back then. But I need someone who is proactive... with my health. I need to feel valued for who I am as a person, not what size I am. I told him I am starting with Weight Watchers this week.... I felt bad about being back in a place where I am explaining my weight loss efforts again. My old doctor knew me when I was almost 500 pounds, he knew how bad my health was and he knew how far I came, and this new one just sees me as a Huge Fat girl... when I am a LESS Fat girl. I know it shouldn't bother me, I should be used to being judged by my weight... but it still sucks!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Movies and Stuff....

I know it's been too long since I last blogged... but I didn't have much to say. Well, I made my appt for my first fill of the new year for the end of the month so maybe i can get a handle on this constant hunger. i am starting Weight watchers then as well.... so we'll see how they work together. i am pretty sure I told you all that we love to go to the movies alot. We see alot of screenings which are free previews of movies in advance of when the movie is released. Alot of Critics go to the screenings... but other than that... They're fun! So, George and i asked my brother to go with us last night to see "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close" with Sandra Bullock and Tom Hanks.... It was a tear-jerker for sure but a great story, and the boy who was in the lead role was amazing. Tonight, we went on a double date with my mom and her fiancee to dinner and to see The Grey which is Liam Neeson's new movie(I love Liam Neeson, huge fan...). So that was fun, When my Dad was alive, We used to double date with him and my mom... but this is the first time with my mom and her new beau. BTW, The new Beau.... who's not that new, actually... Took my Mom to both of her Proms like 40 some years ago....So, they reconnected, about 4 years ago a couple years after my Dad passed away. So... now they're engaged to be married. My brother is not thrilled, he's actually against them getting married but hopefully he'll come around... someday. My Dad would definitely want her to have a companion and be happy. Well, I've babbled enough.... for today.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia... Yeah Right!

I start off with a photo of my Sweet Nephews... who are Totally worth the 1000 mile move home and leaving the wonderful O-Town weather and Disney Magic behind... Even though monetarily, we were better off there... My Happiest Place on Earth is HERE.
It's getting crisp and cold... but I'm lovin' the boots and hats (I love my hats)... You would think that since I grew up here and lived here the first 30+ years of my life, That the cold wouldn't bother me but I was always cold before and Florida thinned my blood big time over that decade of Disney.

  • Money can't buy Happiness but it can buy everything else, and Lack of Money can buy Unhappiness, for sure.
  • Have you every wanted to get off the phone so much and the person isn't taking the hint? So you go on and on telling long-winded stories about yourself, your adorable nephews or your dog... to bore them into compliance? No?.... Me neither.
  • Is it just me or does celery taste like crispy water?
  • I realize that I did better on this diet when I was eating the same things over and over again.... Variety may be the spice of life but it is the Death of Diet.
  • I am reading all of Jennifer Weiner's books thanx to my friend Beth(BTW... If you haven't checked out her blog yet, Check it out!)... She reminded me of the desire to read them that laziness encouraged me to forgot. So far, I am loving them...
  • My brother is doing well on Weight Watchers... so I am thinking of joining him. When I have the discipline and structure... I do better overall. I realize that i wasn't tired of dieting, I was tired of gaining the weight back after giving up or burning out. Which is less of a risk now... So Weight Watchers, Here I Come!

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Detox... Day one.

DETOX... It was almost my word for 2012. I need to get rid of this carb monkey... They taste so good.... and they are so hard to resist. Sounds like I am a junkie, right? Well, I am.... and I will tell you How I know!

  • I desire sugar.... I don't care if I get my protein in or worry about my fiber... I want Sugar.
  • Sugar is my drug, it gives me a natural high that makes me feel great for a very short time and a crashing low afterwards...
  • I can't eat it in moderation... I always think that i can this time, but I am wrong.
  • I would prefer it over everything else.... Cake, Cookies, Chocolate... In all forms, it's delicious.
  • I sneak eat it... If I feel I have to hide eating it, or how much I eat of it. I shouldn't be eating it at all.
  • It keeps me from my goals... i can't lose weight with Sugar in my diet... I am not talking about Milk sugar, or natural sugar from fruits.... I am talking straight up Simple Sugars.
  • It makes me crave more... and more... and more.
  • It is not my friend and is not supportive of my success.
  • I want this monkey off my back.... long term.

DETOX.... That's where I am, I am in my own home but I am on all liquids... and it feels like withdrawal. The Sugar overload of the holidays has made me want all carbs... chips, pretzels, chocolate, cookies, cake, etc... I need to knock this monkey off my back by getting back to basics.

PLATEAU... This is what brought this on, i stopped losing weight even while doing everything right, so each week with no results, made me do less and less right until.... I was doing everything wrong. Now don't get me wrong, i can't do as much wrong as I could pre-band but i sure tried. Every diet I was ever on came to this... and I gained the weight back. My band has helped me maintain ever in this distress. I fell off the wagon and i needed to get back on. I was saved by my band, I may of gained a few pounds back(I don't know since my scale isn't working)
but my clothes still fit and I don't feel heavier. I am hoping I caught this in time.

RESULTS... If I stop seeing results, I will do more right... not more wrong. The pain in my knees, back, feet, and hips is back... My body is now used to this weight. I need to get it feeling great again. Knock off a few pounds so I can hit the gym harder and get more results. This is HARD WORK... Don't let anyone tell you different!