Friday, December 31, 2010

Happy New Year!

Hello... New Me! Everyday I am closer to being "Healthy" and "Thin".... I am eating better and much more active... I am entering 2011, in much better health then I entered 2010. I know this year will hold many more new adventures and happy moments than 2010 held. I can't wait and I look forward to seeing what you all get into during the new year! 2010 is the year that I changed my life, started writing my blog, "met" alot of you in person and in virtual world.... I am a better person because of 2010... and look out 2011! Enjoy a healthy, Happy New Year... My Friends! Go Get 'Em!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

HELP>>>> I've fallin' off the Wagon and I can't get up!

Ok, I am beginning to believe I am a self-saboteur... I mean, my head knows that i have to eat a Lean/Green diet to continue my weight loss... (Basically Low Carb/High Protein/Low Fat) But my mouth seems to be on strike... For some reason... Mashed potatoes, which were never a favorite of mine... are now craved often. I miss bread... alot and I am not loving meat these days. I guess I should tell you that I never was a meat and potatoes girl... But now I'm forced to be a meat and broccoli girl... specifically chicken, turkey or fish... I do eat beef and pork sometimes too but mostly I stick to poultry or fish. I have been seduced by the potato completely... I want baked potatoes, mashed potatoes, fries, sweey potatoes, and so on and so on... I always have gotten a small spoonful at a buffet once in a while to feed the need but the spoonful has been getting bigger and bigger... and my protein count has been getting lower and lower. I have been having a great day today, 103 grams of protein and 64 ounces of water so far... but also I went over my carbs by a few... and want more desperately like a crackhead craves the pipe. I only had 53 grams of carbs... not 530, like I want. I have been trying to keep the carbs below 50 a day. So why are the cravings so strong? Anyway, I really need to stay strong... I exercised with my Wii Just Dance 2 earlier and seemed to be doing so well. I love my Just Dance 2, BTW... I have been doing the Just Sweat program and I am doing the tough one which is only like 3 songs a day... and I have been going on... Did you hear that world? I can stop since I hit my 1000 sweat point mark and continue on... I felt great but with the night comes the cravings.... Always. I am looking forward to seeing some great BOOBs this weekend! No, I'm not hitting the strip clubs.... well, maybe I am but Stephanie, Heidi, Amy and I are getting together... for dinner and Disney. i am going to miss the many visiting BOOBs... Orlando is one of the top tourist destinations in the World... but just between you and me... I won't miss the tourists.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas to Mini-me and Mini-you!

Well, the pity party has begun... I should tell you that we never get to go home for Christmas since my George works for Disney and Disney doesn't celebrate holidays... They have closed like 3 days since we moved here over 10 years ago... 2 were major hurricanes and the other... September 11th, 2001... need i say more? Anyway, I am looking forward to next year and being surrounded by family. We are alone and usually we really enjoy each other's company but on the Holidays it always seems like something is missing. I should be glad that he is high enough in seniority at Disney to have Christmas day and New Year's Day off... at least. We went to the movies for a marathon yesterday... saw Little Fockers, Black Swan, and How do you Know.... We had a wonderful time together, as usual. But today... we are just relaxing at home. Which is fine... but not great. When I see many of you complaining about your families... It makes me think? Would you rather not have the awkward family gatherings at all? Everyone needs a little dysfunction to thrive. I mean, where would we be today without the competitive sibling relationship or the backhanded compliments of your Father's new wife. We hate it while going through it... but without it, it can be lonely and I started a little tiff with my Hubby earlier for no reason... just to add the much needed Holiday Drama. I need the bizarre exchanges! I want the forced conversations! I thirst for the temptation of the cookies, pies, chocolate, And especially Cake! I would love to get drunk on bad eggnog to tolerate my handsy Step-dad! Do I sound crazy? Looney tunes! Muy Loco! That's because I am. The Drama is as much a part of the Christmas Tradition as the sitting on Santa's Lap, Midnight Mass, and Sneaking presents under the tree at 3:30am after frantically wrapping them at 2 since the kids wouldn't stay asleep... all the while hoping that they sleep past 6am. Anyway, Christmas without the Drama? No Thank you! If my Christmas sweater isn't drenched in gravy from my drunk sister's annoyed passing down the table... It's not Christmastime! I get frustrated with all the commercialism, greed and traffic... the same as everyone else but i am not sure i could live without it... even though I say i easily could. Jesus was born in the world to die for our sins... because we are human and are prone to sin.... I'm sure when he looks down on us with disgust, he has to giggle a little at our human nature getting the best of us. Human nature is the reason that we celebrate his birth in December... since he wasn't born then... but the catholics didn't like being outdone with the pagan Winter soltice celebrations... and Christmas was born! Merry Christmas Everyone... Enjoy the magic memories and giggle at the Tragic moments. The combination is what brings us Christmas! And Good will toward Men... even though they end up asking "When are we going to eat?"... instead of picking up a spatula and pitching in!

Monday, December 20, 2010

Food Pimps... Take your homemade fudge and Shove it!

Tis the season of the Food pimp... Eff-Eff-Eff-Eff-Effffff-Eff-Eff Eff UUUUUUU! ... I have been trying to steer clear of them pretty well with their Christmas baked goods and grandmother's recipes to just have a little taste... Uuuummm, would you offer a Junkie a heroine fix? i love the Sweetness like Crack! Candy, Pies, Cookies, Hot Chocolate, Cake, Homemade Fudge... You love me for a moment... and i hate you for a lifetime. I know that a little taste won't hurt me... I know that it's only once a year... i know that I can always diet tomorrow... but I am making my own food choices... and they might not always be good but they are always... Mine to make. So don't Push me into "Indulging" with peer pressure or "Rewards" for all my hard work. While they're all preparing for the new Lent of the New Year's Resolution... We are trying to walk the walk... among the gingerbread houses, Sugar Plum Fairies and candy cane dreams! And remember... It's the thought that counts... or the lack of thought. Be strong. it will all be behind us soon, just like our new "Less junk in the trunk" behind. Merry Christmas to all the other Walk the Walkers...! Trip, if you like, but don't fall! PS... If I turn out to be a hypocrite for the day, or the week, or the month... Just let me wallow in my own cookie crumbs with an eggnog chaser pity party... I don't need the Food Police to come to my rescue either. (And kindly disregard the previous post....I may have been in a sugar coma while writing it...) This post is dedicated to Hey... at Lap with me, who inspired me to write it... and be strong.

Eggface is Santa... This year! Giveaway!

Our friend Shelly over at "The World according to Eggface" is giving away a great laptop lunch kit... Bento Box style. It is great for us Bandsters who need to have a little of this and a little of that... Anyway, you have to enter to win! Check it out!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Help me Santa Claus!!!!

Dear Santa, This year all i want for Christmas besides World Peace, of course... Is Friggin' Will Power, and Self-control... because I am really wanting to eat my way through all the Christmas Joy and am afraid that my round belly will shake when i laugh like a bowl full of jelly, no offense... which i will be head first in especially if it's Raspberry. Well, I guess I should be glad that I am far from my family with the cookie baking and the chocolate making... well, let's not kid ourselves, pretty much anything sweet. I love my sweets... candy, cookies, cake... I really love Cake! How can i say this? I wish Cake and chocolate tasted bad... after my surgery, SAY WHAT? Did I just say that? I think it's a frickin' Christmas Miracle.... when I admit that I would be better off if Cake Sucked! I wouldn't mind the over indulgence, if it only came but once a year... but a day without chocolate is not a good day... Anyway, Santa, I've taken up enough of your time... Instead of giving up Cake, could you possibly make my metabolism super fast so I have to eat more or I'll become too thin... I'd like to try that for a while. Thanx, I've been a good girl... most of the time, and when i haven't, I've had enough sense to destroy the evidence... or at least eat it all and blame the dog. Your loyal friend, *Maria*

Monday, December 13, 2010

Mama's got a brand new... Shoe?

Mama's got a brand new ...Shoe? I am sure you've realized from my constant whining about my state of health 9 months ago... pre-band? It was bad... and I am realizing each day just how bad it was... Anyway, I had settled on a life of slip-on shoes... even my sneakers were slip on... Hiding the painful truth that I couldn't put on my own shoes... or socks. Thank God for my sweet understanding George... and for the fact that he never had to wipe my ass. I was afraid that i would end up there... Don't go there! Takes on new meaning, doesn't it? I am thrilled to the point of breaking into a skip and singing What a wonderful world daily these days... so something must be done to prepare my feet for that lifestyle! Well, these are my first pair of Lace them uppers... Serious Kicks for a serious walker. I am my own ass wiper! You hear me world! I'm putting on my shoes and socks one foot at a time... I am ABLED! Well, I have been realizing the need for "Real" sneakers for a while, ever since one of my Dr. Scholl's slip on sneakers... went flying across the gym when a recumbent bike got a little ahead of me. Along with the fact that my routine flip flop life is coming to a close come April when I move home to Philly. I love my Fit flops... And Skeptic as i may be, they do work out your calves, thighs, and buttocks! I have a firmer fanny due to my new fit floppin' lifestyle... so since our Florida days have been less sunny more chilly these days. I got some New Balance Rock n Tones... They aren't the new fancy True balances but thanx to the Outlets... last year's model was less than 1/2 the heavy price tag... and 25% extra percent off... My critique Is that they do ROCK! and TONE! These shoes are made for walking... and that's just what they do... one of these days these shoes are gonna walk all over you! Or over to you at least!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Body Imagination?

Well, here it is... The post I have been dreading to write, but Tessie Rose has inspired me today with her heartfelt post. It can be overwhelming at times... I went into this journey truly believing that I was doing this for my health... not my body image. Well, my health is a 100% better... but my self-image is 100% worse... How, you may ask, after losing 104.3 pounds could my body image be worse? I don't think my defense mechanisms allowed me to see how big I was... I mean, i knew I was loved and I knew i was overweight... even morbidly obese, but 475 pounds... never was imagined, until the cruel scale broke down my defenses... and opened my eyes to the cold hard truth. Luckily, when I was weighed I was in a bariatric seminar... obviously on my way here but I started seeing photos differently, and my behaviors differently. I always hid halfway behind my husband or others in photos to delude myself... i had alot of close ups on my face but not many full-length shots... if they were taken that way I would crop them... I unconsciously knew that i was unhappy with my body... but I distracted myself with everything else... not making the time to be there for "ME"... Well, now I make alot of time for myself. To choose good food options... and when I choose not so good options... I take my time and savor every bite of the Yum. I make time to blog and release all these thoughts from my overactive mind. I take time to be the friend I want to have... I take the time to compliment... if I think it, I say it! It tends to freak folks out from time to time but i feel like people need to hear nice things about themselves and no one takes the time to say nice things, unless they want something. On the same point... I try to take compliments I'm given with the grace and appreciation that they deserve. I know that people are more likely to take the time to say nasty things... so I am fearful still since my self image is healing slowly. When people ask how much weight I've lost... I am nervous to say that I've lost 100 pounds because I believe that they're thinking... "You've lost 100 pounds and you're still that fat?"... Now that my defenses are not as strong... it's like alot of the weight I've lost has come from my protective shell. I am also angry... When i see people being mistreated because of their weight. I joke about my weight all the time, but It bothers me when I see other people do that... about their weight. I am a Forever Fatty... and I am proud of myself for how far I've come... It is a long road ahead... but I need to realize how hard I've worked by taking each necessary step. I may never be a supermodel... but I have always been one to my George and that's enough... Today, I say goodbye to 104.3 pounds and good riddance! It's my journey but I want to make my husband proud, my mother proud, and my brother proud... Is that silly?

Day 3!!! I'm eating again! And 5.3 pounds gone.

I am done with the liquid days of the 5 day pouch test... Yesterday was easier than day one... But I really was looking forward to chewing... It is hard to get your chew on with sugar-free jello! Anyway... I wanted to get any idea how much the liquids flushed out... and i am down 5.3 pounds. Amazing! I expected maybe 1/2 of that. I know that the proteins are basically what i eat in my normal diet... so i don't expect to lose much more than normal but I am also staying away from all carbs instead of most carbs so maybe that will make a difference. Outside of Band news, I am looking forward to starting my Christmas Season with the Candlelight Processional at EPCOT this friday... We are going with Kim(Good-bye Fatty McButterpants) and her Dad. We have become very good friends since we met in Chicago, another blessing from my blog. I love reading about each of your lives and ups and down... I am truly inspired by your successes and saddened by your losses... unless they are the good losses. You are all Losers! I am blessed to be a Loser as well... and every pound i lose, I know i owe it to you as much as to my food choices... and exercise(What there is of it)... Anyway, I can't wait to meet Kim's Dad... i met her Mom when i met her for Lunch while she was visiting her Mom and family... They don't live far from Orlando... When I move I will be leaving a few friends behind but I am relieved to know that you are always a web address away... and i take you with me on my journey no matter where it takes me. Well, I wanted to have the whole Magical Disney Christmas Experience for our last Christmas here... i will see everything through different eyes... and a different body. I feel wonderful walking around without the pain and breathing issues(Out of breath) I had 9 months ago... It is an amazing time to visit DisneyWorld!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Sitting on Santa's lap and other festivities!

Yes this is me... Sitting on Santa's Lap, and it's been 3 decades since I last sat there... When I was a child, people would complain about how bony my butt was landing me the family nickname bony butt for a while... I hated it but for the last 25 years, i would kill to get that nickname back...
I have come along way since last Christmas... 100 pounds ago. I look forward to seeing what next Christmas brings... it's now 8 months and change since my surgery... and i feel like i lost 10 years with the 100 pounds.
Here i am with George at my Surgeon's Alumni Christmas Party... You can imagine the food at a shindig such as this... Protein, Protein, Protein, raw veggies, and Sugar free jello... but I enjoyed it.
Here i am with Susan, our bariatric coordinator... she is a lapbander herself and takes amazing care of us... Last but not least... This is me with Doctor Rehnke... in his festive Christmas tie... When we move i will really miss my amazing, sweet surgeon... Anyway, I couldn't miss this Alumni Christmas party since it was the first one for me... and the last one for me. Unless, i happen to be down here around the next one, I'll miss it. I really didn't know anyone there since i live almost 2 hours away, i go to a closer support group in Celebration, FL. I didn't get to meet anyone at the hospital when i had my surgery because I was so out of it and had my own room. I do plan on visiting some new patients right after they have surgery buti need to plan it around when I have my appt with the doctor or a concert or something... in the area. Anyway, most of the bandsters outside of the blogs i met in my support group at Celebration and they have their surgeon there... But I went to Chicago with a wonderful group of supportive bandsters.... BOOBS, to be exact. Well, i got distracted from a point I was going to make. There was a girl Dawn who won a lapband surgery through my doctor and Allergen. You may have read about her on LapBandTalk well, i have met her a couple times, at a support group and i saw her today at the party... She's lost 108 pounds in the 7 months since her surgery... And since she's been so successful, Allergen and the surgeons' office are donating 2 more this year. So That's awesome news for self-payers everywhere. check around your area to see if there are any contests by surgeons there... And remember that my surgeon's diet is Lean and Green which is why her results are so good... most would never be that good, without little to no carbs. Anyway... I am happy for her, and whoever else wins the next 2 surgeries. As for me, i am staying in a hotel here in Clearwater so i can go to my doctor's office for a fill tomorrow and save gas and hassle. I am officially starting the 5 day pouch test tomorrow... i'll keep you updated on that process too.