Saturday, May 28, 2011

The Road thru CandyLand in a Sticky one...

I've been having alot of "THOSE" days.... You Know, My husband loves me the way I am... I am healthier than I was last year... I feel much better, so I can endulge my other loves... Cake, Chocolate, Ice Cream, and Cookies...

My weight's been slowing down to meet me... I mean to say, After I lost 120 pounds in a year and even a little before that... I felt great like I weighed 150 pounds, was athletic and could do anything.... Until I saw a mirror. Realization set in and reminded me how very far I have to go and I felt sorry for myself. If I was just 300 pounds like most of my Blog Boobs when I started this journey I'd be circling the block looking for a parking place now... Instead of losing another couple hundred pounds... WTF Did I do to myself? How could I let this happen? Why did this happen to me? Pity Party Table for 1....

I have to reset myself: Both brain and body to think that I am just starting out and I can do this.... You will not defeat me! The Evil Chocolatier! The Ice Creamer, The Cookie Monster, or even The Cake Boss! Why do Villains seem so much worse with "The" in front of their name?

I am in new uncharted territory... I mean, I've never been this far through Candyland without getting stuck with a gumdrop up my butt or molasses on my shoes.... I am in my 2nd consecutive year of mostly losing weight and even when not losing weight... Not gaining it back? Can this be my life now? Am I becoming "normal"? You know the normal I mean, That girl who will struggle with a few extra pounds but that's all. Bare in mind, a few extra pounds to me, could end up being 100... but Who cares!

I can make mostly good choices, I can exercise pretty regularly, I can eat in moderation, even though I may not always choose to do these things.... Most importantly, I can be the Better Me! The one I've dreamed about but not quite got to know... I can feel her inside me bubbling up to the surface. She looks in the mirror and likes what she sees, even when I nit-pick.... She laughs when she falls and gets up and skip, even when I sit on the ground and feel sorry for myself... She rolls her eyes when I complain about my loose skin melting all over me, and makes me smile when I feel my ribs through my Thinner skin... She is planning her coming out party while I am pushing her back in with self-sabotage. But she is stronger than me, alot of the time, and is getting stronger everyday. She is the girl I love to hate.... but she is the girl who hates to love me.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

I can't keep my mouth shut... oh wait!

Well, I have read of some bloggers having trouble with blogger.... and I am one of them. Those of you who've met me know that I have alot to say... some welcome, some... not so much. It seems Blogger has decided that none of what I have to say is worth reading... so I haven't been able to comment on alot of blog posts.... and I really want to tell you how well you're doing, encourage you, Inspire you, make you laugh, make you feel beautiful, and special... but alas... Blogger thinks I talk to much! So I'll consider myself censored.... for now. Can one of you techno suavy folk find out why they hate me so??? I want to get back on my soapbox... soon.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Totally Random Thursday....well, Friday?

Well, I have been scatterbrained lately, so....

  • Why don't I like Blueberries? I like every other berry, in fact I love raspberries, strawberries, blackberries, alot... But not Blueberries. Not even in pie! It's just weird!

  • I think that EVERY GIRL needs a Gay.... They're good for your self-esteem, and nobody gives good drama like a Queen. I have always attracted them like an Ethel Merman Vs. Liza Minnelli singoff... but I can't imagine my life without getting my Gay on from time to time. BTW, I have my Gay Boyfriend back now that I'm back in Philly... and He says that I don't put the Fag in Hag, I put the Dream in Queen... Why does that make me smile?

  • I am sick today... and we are going to the Phillies game, which takes a trolley, and 2 subways. Hopefully, Public Transportation and sitting in the rain at a baseball game will cure me.

  • Yesterday was my youngest nephew Blake's 1st birthday... We are having his party this sunday. I am so excited to be here to celebrate with my family.

  • Sandy Lee from The Weight Loss Roller Coaster is Visiting Barbara From My Body, my Band, My Rant, and I am definitely horning in on their fun... I met Sandy in Chicago and look forward to spending more time with her. I love Barb, I am so glad to be close in distance to her now. We will get to have our cake and eat it too... There will be cake won't there?

  • The movie Soul Surfer was so inspiring... It makes me think, If that one armed shark victim can surf professionally, why can't I beat the Chocolatier? Although, If I only had one arm, I couldn't shovel it in quite as fast and may tire out before a sugar coma. BTW, AnnaSophia Robb may amazing as Bethany Hamiliton, Helen Hunt & Dennis Quaid were incredible as her parents, Carrie Underwood was great too... I heard alot of people thinking it's offensive that she credits alot of her overcoming adversity and success on her faith in Jesus... How is that offensive? It is a true story... If she credited her Mother or Father, it wouldn't be offensive, would it? No one should be offended by what helps someone else get through trials and tribulation. I find that offensive.

  • Ok, Now I've been on my soapbox, told you what I'm looking forward to, whined about my sickness, and lack of love for Blueberries... Have a great weekend everyone!

Happy Birthday Baby Blake! You are the Sunshine of my life.... literally! I adore you! XOXO

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Philly is supposed to be home to Soul, not the Blues.

Well, I don't have much to say.... which is why I haven't been blogging but I guess I could tell you a few things that have been bothering me.

  • I have been hungry alot lately... I am not sure why, but I am pretty sure I need a fill, big time.

  • I thought I was doing ok since I have been eating like crap and not gaining weight... but I am on this journey to lose, not maintain.

  • I have PBed once and a while but I haven't been as careful: eating too fast, and not chewing enough.

  • I am feeling sorta depressed lately... since my George is struggling to find a job and we are almost completely out of savings, I feel like he will grow to resent me because I begged for this move. I know it has only been a few weeks and maybe we could have been more careful with our spending but It seemed like he had a job lined up so I figured that more money would be heading our way soon. Hopefully, that job or another will turn up soon, because there is nothing a breadwinner hates more than having his or her spouse support them.

  • Bread is so much better up here... and my band disagrees with my findings... and insists that I stop experimenting with it.

  • I ate a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich on white bread today, I haven't had white bread in years and it transported me mentally to my childhood. It was Yum! but I know it wasn't a good choice. Why do things from our childhoods always taste better in their original form? Grilled cheese tastes good on white bread too... I need to get over my current bread obsession.

  • 75% off Easter Candy railroaded me... Literally.

  • My nephews are the sunshine of my life, which is good since I left the Sunshine State for them.

  • Rahshell sent me some awesome Capris that I hope my fat ass fits in them by summer(At this rate, maybe not?)... I love Rahshell... If you don't follow her blog: Check it out... Band'it for my babies

  • I am not drinking anything near my regular water intake, at first I didn't worry since It's very high and I wouldn't miss a few ounces but now it's way too low... so I am counting bottles tomorrow for sure.

  • I haven't been to the gym since I got here... WTF? I know, I have been distracted but I have been here for several weeks.

  • I love ON DEMAND... It is one of my new drugs, I had Directv in Florida so no ON DEMAND but I am all over it up here... and I watch WAY too much TV.

  • My youngest nephew Blake will be one in 2 days... I can't believe it but It stings so much less since I see him every week at least once, and I will be at his party next weekend. Bittersweet, No?

  • Maybe It is a good time to revisit... ATKINS, but I'm thinking about it.

  • I tried some Capri Leggings the other day... not a total success but I may get some full length ones.

  • I have been reading all your blogs but not commenting as much as I should... I will try harder.

This week, I am going to get to the gym, try to limit my bad food choices as much as possible, and blog at least twice. I am also going to make sure I am getting at least 64 ounces of water a day... I know these sound like wimpy goals but BABY STEPS... People, Baby Steps!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

To the Lady at Giant....

To the Nice, Helpful Lady at the Giant,

You were so sweet to suggest the Lemon Chobani... It was thoughtful to help me mix it up with a new flavor and all, but you have horrible taste and I hate you! Next time, Butt out!

Yours truly,
Stickin' with Raspberry

**********Ps. Yes I am a bitch, No I don't know this woman and she doesn't read my blog...LOL

Saturday, May 7, 2011

I'm getting old.... but my skin is flawless!

Turns out.... I'm getting old. Here are the facts:

  • BonJovi was a great concert but I wore earplugs.... cauz it was so damn loud!

  • The long drive to Long Island made me crotchity, cranky, grouchy...

  • I find myself complaining about all these damn stairs... while climbing them.

  • I'm enjoying all the Early Bird specials at the Diners...

  • I was so annoyed by that long drive to LI, that I told my husband I looked forward to when he was dead so I could dance on his grave in a red dress... Crazy, because we're going to be cremated.

  • I found myself surrounded by gray hairs at a dinner theatre in Delaware, gasping at The Full Monty...

  • I fell asleep briefly on the subway... the other day.

  • I complain at how high the prices are.... everywhere.

  • Gas Prices when I was young weren't even a dollar a gallon...

  • At the Church's flea market, clothes were $2 for whatever you could fit in a supermarket paper bag... and I really stuffed that thing like mad.

  • I'm a hat person again... I am looking for a red one, maybe I'll join the red hat society.

  • What's with these youngsters with their pants falling down, somehow that's the style that passes the test of time...

  • I get aggravated at these crazy drivers and how fast and furious they drive... even though I am one of them.

  • I am thinking of buying some reading glasses at walgreens, since I borrowed a pair to read some small print, and they were so helpful!

  • I watch alot of the Food Network.... a whole lot.

  • These days, I really appreciate a good bowel movement...

  • These new fangled gadgets mesmorize me...

  • I love wigs... (usually for Halloween or role playing but that's besides the point...)

  • Fiber is incredibly important in your diet... (See above for one of the reasons)

  • I want to eat everything I shouldn't... especially Sweets.(Maybe always... but So What!)

  • I am still more likely to chose my granny panties than their sexy counterparts...(They're just comfier...)

  • I make up words like Comfier...

  • I love when Ruby combines words for dramatic effect... I am humidified(humiliated and mortified), I am Hacky(Happy and Wacky), etc...

  • I like to shock folks with unneccessary use of the F word...

  • There's no such thing as unneccessary use of the F word(Come on, I'm from Philly... We made up a bunch of other words to replace the F Word in times of restrait or overuse)

  • I have to eat salty right after sweet or... sweet right after salty.

  • I am starting to agree with the Northeast vision of starches are vegetables too...

  • I really like cake... did I mention that?

  • I go on and on with long lists of thoughts.... and tell the same story over and over again...

  • Why am I thinking about Cake?

  • My nephews are the Apple of my eye...

  • My feet are cold....

  • I'm going to go get some cake.

BTW, My skin is amazing up here, I thought my age was causing dryness and blotchiness, but I guess Florida's climate is what did the damage.... and now It's flawless like a princess baby soaking in Rose oil... Or should that be baby princess! Who cares, I'm beautiful!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Scale Calibration.... and other Excuses.

My scale is like a slot machine these days.... I am not sure that the move was the best thing for it... It may need calibration, or my Ass needs major calibration but I am thinking both need it. I am more active up here but seem to be too busy to get to the gym. I need to calibrate my mind back into weight loss mode, since it seems to be slipping from maintenance mode to gain mode.

Anyway, I won't stop attempting to eat soft pretzels... no matter how many times I get stuck. I can't eat them anymore.... I will stick to a small bite or pretzel nuggets. I have always loved Soft pretzels, and being a Philly Girl makes it hard to resist. I don't even like them that much anymore but the memories of how much I loved them... makes me still want them, even after several stuck incidents. Why isn't that enough to stop me from thinking this time will be different? I can get nuggets and eat a couple, or I can get a mini pretzel and eat most of it... but the regular ones are always hot and fresh.... so tempting. I can help but think that I will never beat this addiction, not completely.

I have enjoyed getting caught up with my family and several close friends, still unpacking and getting settled.... and procrastinating finding a gym, and deciding on new insurance. It is important that I get these things done.... but the days are flying by and I am still waiting for the urge to get my ducks in a row. I did enjoy the Support Group I went to at the University of Pennsylvania, but I need to find a new surgeon and that would be a great place to start.

One of the reasons that I fattened up in Florida is pretty simple... Lack of stairs. I climb several flights of stairs several times a day now and It has been wearing on my knees which has made me make a few bad decisions, like instead of climbing down 2 flights of stairs to get a healthy snack, just munch on some puffcorn or chocolate... I got to get control of these kinds of choices.