Thursday, June 17, 2010
The "Uncomfortable" Doctor
Well, Today I had my annual appt with the "Uncomfortable" doctor... And if it's uncomfortable for normal sized women... you can imagine how uncomfortable it was for me! I got showered and dressed, I was wearing clothes that I hadn't fit in years, feeling pretty good about how I looked, but the doctor reminded me of my chubbiness by telling me to push down using the stength in my arms since the stirups have a weight limit of like 250 or 300. He tried to be nice about it but I didn't feel as bad this year since I knew that next year will be different. It did make me think about the experiences I dread because of my weight. Like flying, for instance. I love to travel but hate flying since the seats are too snug on my huge badunkadunk... I have to ask for a seat belt extender so I can breath and have the constant fear until the plane take off of them asking me to pay for a 2nd seat when we can hardly afford the first one. Anyway, I fly to Buffalo on tuesday to go to Niagara Falls and Toronto, Canada. I look forward to the trip but not the flight. Each flight I take from now on will get easier but I can't wait to not be singled out as a fatty. I know I will feel like a forever fatty but when strangers treat me normal... Then I will not have that constant fear. I forget for a moment that I'm fat... I live my life, love my family and friends, travel, shop, etc... and someone always reminds me that they see me as a fatty... not a human, not a woman, not a wife, or daughter... I want to be seen for all that I am... I am not what I eat... I am more than what I eat or don't eat. I dream of... the day when I will just be me.
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You hit the nail on the head! What a thought provoking post? I don't even go to my uncomfortable appointments I just put the reminders in the bin. And I know how bad that is, our family has been touched more than once by the C word. How sad that getting a check up is on my things to do when I'm thin list?
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone out there honey.
I wonder how we will feel when we do just blend in?
Wont be long now :-)
This post makes me so sad for you. I do understand about the flying. I had about 2 inches left of the seat belt before surgery. I am going to Phoenix next Thursday and I am looking forward to see how much seat belt I have left! Regardless of your flight situation, I hope you have a wonderful vacation!
ReplyDeleteFlying is a crappy experience! But you have a great attitude. Each time you do something you will be thinner/healthier and it WILL become more enjoyable.
ReplyDeleteIt really is sad how our fat becomes part of every part of us and limits us in so many ways. I'm flyig next week too, I hope it's more comfortable than the last time I flew. Hang in there, you're doing great!
ReplyDeleteI'm flying over the 4th of July with my family and I am hoping the seat belts will fit better for me, too. Each time from here on out I hope it will be a different experience. Try to stay positive and know that you are doing the right things to change your life and make it even better! Have fun in Niagara Falls. I was there back in October and it was lovely~
ReplyDeleteI do have to say thoguh, I am probably the only person who doesn't ming doing to the gynocologist. Hmmmm, I wonder what that says about me!
I think EVERY woman feels fat when she flies and when she's in stirrups. Both, horrible places to be! Have a blast on your vacation! Canada is a fun place to be a fatty :)
ReplyDeleteI haven't flown in quite some time, but can understand the feeling of being uncomfortable. I was looking at another blog in which the author talked about how the stewardess wasn't so kind or quiet when giving her a seat belt extender.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the yearly pap, I can truly say I have the best gynocologist in all the world. He is gentle and kind even when addressing my weight and was so helpful when I was getting all my paperwork together. Next year will be golden for you.
Wow! You guys are so supportive. I can bear my soul and not feel judged or alone. I am so happy that I have this community to turn to in times of victory or defeat. I plan on having more victories from now on... I'll let you know how the flying goes... I am dressing to look skinnier instead of for comfort...LOL
ReplyDeleteOh hey Sweetie! Thanks for sending me your link. I didn't know I wasn't following you! You have PLENTY of great followers and great commenters. Keep commenting on other's blogs and the followers will find you! I am so happy for you in your journey! Sounds like you've come a long way and you write beautifully. Thank you for following me!
ReplyDeleteHI! Drazil sent e over to your fabulous blog! And I am so glad she did! YES! you are right! Every bad experience regarding your weight will be the last , you are right! Next year for that dr. appointment think of how you will feel ~ not feeling that way! Keep it up! You can do this!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHave a pretty night!
Kristin