- I still feel like I'm on that hateful plateau, even though the scale seemed to be heading down, It keeps bouncing back up... Maybe it's muscle from working out so much, maybe I am retaining water, maybe I am a sleep eater, but I need to feel like I am working towards something and I have fought hard to get the scale going down... and I am not liking the hanging around and a few times it looked like I am gaining.
- Why don't I do what I say I'm going to do? I've been saying that I am going to get a tape measure to take my measurements so I can really see if I am losing inches even if I am not losing pounds but i still haven't done it.... I never did it, even before my surgery. I don't know why because it seems to be sabotaging my success. I WILL take my measurement this week.
- My scale is definitely acting up and so is the gym's scale... I want to believe the lows and I want to not believe the highs but since I can't get the same number twice and I am all over the grid... I need to get a new scale. I should stop weighing myself like Amy W. did since I could use a little less obsessing about numbers and a little more obsessing about exercising and keeping active.
- I have admitted finally to myself that I should have gotten the Gastric Bypass... I just have too much to lose for the band. I wanted to teach myself new eating habits and to be able to make good choices most of the time but even though I do... the weight's not coming off and I get very frustrated. I thought that the band would make me work hard to get the weight off but would really be helpful in keeping it off but I struggle alot more than I thought I would and I feel like I am on a diet most of the time which makes me lose hope. I feel deprived often and resent myself for letting my weight get this out of control.
- I forgot the other thing I had to say here.... but I am reading Tina Fey's book Bossypants. Most of you know that Tina and I went to high school together. As I am reading it, I am doing alot of reminising and remembering old times. I did really enjoy High School unlike alot of other people did... It's weird to think that there were memories before George.... lets call it BG. Well, BG... I was beautiful, with porcelin skin, fiery redhair and black diamond eyes that sparkled when I smiled/laughed. I didn't know any of this at the time. I wish George had been there to see me in my glory days but he was sorta geeky and I probably wouldn't have given him the time of day. It's funny how time changed us for the better. I had mad curves but was not fat... even though I thought I was... Well, maybe I was a little chubby. I dream of being chubby now. I wouldn't want to go back to live through a time BG, since I now know how incredible he is... but it's fun to think about those days.
- Because of being lost in Tina's book at the gym... I rode the bike for over an hour. So, Thanx Tina... for making my Bossypants a little baggier.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
WTF.... A Life in Bullet form.
Well....I have been doing well... making good choices with food and exercising at least 5 days a week. So why do I feel discouraged?