Midnight Confessional....

I was thinking about calories and lying to myself about them....

• If I can't find the exact item in myfitnesspal that I ate... I always want to chose the lowest in calories, fat, carbs... and the highest in protein. Does this mean I am eating the healthiest one? No, It means that perception is 9/10 of reality. If I believe that I am staying within my calories... than It must be true. (What's really funny is that I never counted calories before I was banded. All the diets I've ever tried have been cutting carbs and they've all worked but I thought since this portion control this is so important for us... try counting calories.)
• I love Cake... all sweets actually. I would eat cake for every meal, no protein, no veggies, well... maybe I'll eat carrot cake once in a while. Luckily, Cake is not as easy to come by these days... There are moosey things, pie, cookies, pastries, etc but most of the cakes in restaurants is ice cream really. And since I don't bring sweets in the house... I hardly ever get to eat it, unfortunately or fortunately... depending on how you look at it.
• Back to calorie counting for another moment... My surgeon would never really give a direct answer to certain questions. Like how much protein grams should I eat?, how many calories should I be eating a day?, how much weight should I be losing a week?, How much exercise should I be doing?... He would give answers like as many as you can, as few as you can, it fluxuates, Exercise will cause you to be more hungry... just try to be more active. It was frustrating because I was so used to dieting that I wanted a rule book.... not a lifestyle. Eventually, I got the response that I should be eating about 800 calories a day and I stopped asking questions. (I thought 800 calories was a ridiculous goal but if I strip away the empty calories, extra carbs, unlean, sweets, and just ate small meals~Lean and Green... 800 calories would work fine, but I still eat about 1200 a day)
• The Loose skin sucks... Weight loss is not all glamourous, My hanging pouchy stomach thingy pushes down on my bladder and makes me have to pee more often, and the 100+ ounces of water a day doesn't help matters, under the folds of loose skin rashes and sweat hide. My clothes have to be bigger to fit all this silly puddy... otherwise everything turns into Spanx and comfort goes out the window. I am going to have lots of plastic surgery ahead... If and when I get near goal. But until then I go around waving everything in the breeze, flopping aroung like I don't have a care in the world.