Thursday, April 26, 2012

HOPE.... A Four Letter Word!

As you know I am revising to the Gastric Bypass.... I have all the same insurance loops to jump through again. I am not as nervous as I was 2 1/2 years ago when I jumped through them before but it is still annoying and frustrating. 

  1. Each month I see my dietician and one of the PAs in my surgeon's office for Weight Management visits... which consists of me telling them the same frustrations and issues and them telling me to try to eat more calories and that I am doing everything right and that I had more success with my band then most people have had... So we need something more aggressive. I HOPE that will start my metabolism up again!
  2. Ok.... So I gain no new tips or knowledge and lose a few pounds that I gained last month or gain a few that I lost last month... and I lose more hope and a $40 co-pay, but I am one month closer to my fresh start. And my band is clearly not going to get me to a healthy weight, which the insurance company will see. Well, I HOPE they will see it too.
  3. I am sliding through the process this time, there's no rush... I will get there. I just wish I could truly lose weight on the way, although the maintaining  within a 10 pound radius when I have so much left to lose.... that's what makes me lose HOPE. Will the next surgery only get me so far too? Will I be left again in a losing battle instead of a losing race? I hope that I can get down low enough that I will be able to really exercise without chronic pain and make it a routine instead of a dreaded event like a funeral. I HOPE to become able to be active and full of life, on the outside, because my inside is already there, most days.
  4. Things are looking up, right? I am working toward a goal, a new journey... I am getting alot of tests for pre-surgery so I am getting a clean bill of health, well... semi-clean. My husband has his second interview for a new job today, and is just waiting to hear back. My niece is having her baby girl on monday,,, and my sister-in-law a few weeks later. It's a happy time, full of promise... Lots of stuff to look forward to... Summer's coming, BBQs and pool parties. I love spending time with my family and now that I am not obsessed with the food, as much... I am not distracted and I get to play and swim and tease my cousins... Good Times!  I HOPE that will distract me through the summer, and I will be pre-op by Fall.


  1. Wow -- I have been a bit out of date here... well, I hope that things will work out smoothly for you with the upcoming surgery.
    I need to read back and catch up on everything with you, but it sounds like you are under some good care and are doing what you need to do.
    All the best!!

  2. I'm out of the loop too! I think this is a great step for you. My friend has had great luck with her bypass and there have been times that I wish I had opted for that surgery. Best of luck to you!