I am sure those of you who know me... know who the Super Villain to my Wonder Woman is... The Chocolatier! The original Frienemy... I have a love/hate relationship with Chocolate, since as long as I can remember... even before I was Pleasantly Plumpin' up! I have been giving it alot of thought for several days now, and I have experienced all levels of this addiction... So, Why can't I give up the drug? I know that food addiction is the worst addiction since you can't go COLD turkey on food... but I could give up Chocolate, physically... but emotionally, not so much. I can't get my head around it! I know it causes me stalls in weight loss, weight gain, binges, cravings, and obsessions that I want to leave behind me... The result of all this thought... IF I CAN GIVE UP CHOCOLATE, I CAN BEAT THE WHOLE THING!
***Will I have to give up my favorite protein shakes because they are chocolate flavored? I hope not, It took me a long time to find protein shakes that were low carb and didn't taste like HELL! Well, at first I will only give up Chocolate that melts... Like Candy Bars, regular or sugar free.
****If the cravings don't stop, I will have to give up my sugar free dark chocolate pudding... and I hope it doesn't come to that. I will only eat them if I want chocolate... and need to fill the void. I am probably going to ween myself off them too, but baby steps, People!
****I am hoping that I will enjoy the chocolate flavor of the protein shakes enough to squash the need for other chocolate replacement items.
****I realize how silly I sound but this is my Kryptonite... and I need to get to a better place with food. I am not at this happy green place that I read about in other blogs and I blame myself. Eating is still more important to me than It should be. I don't want to eat alot of the time, not because of not being hungry but because I want to eat things that aren't good choices for me... If I curb the cravings, I will kill the beast.
****You may ask, Why Maria? Why would you wait til you are almost banded a year to make this change? Well, Let me be honest, I was hoping to be one of these bandsters who eat one square of chocolate and savor it, and walk away satisfied... I am not one of these lucky bitches, no offense to those of you who are.... I wish I was one of the COOL kids who can do Chocolate and not have it be a "Gateway Drug"... like it is to me. You know who you are.... I used to think Ice cream was my kryptonite, but I can eat a little and walk away satisfied... Now who's the lucky bitch? I hardly even have ice cream anymore... or cookies, chips, etc. Chocolate made me it's bitch years ago, and now I need to fight back.
****Think of this like an intervention that i am having over blogland... This post is mostly me thinking out loud. I know you will support me in the hardest fight of my life.... This is the overly dramatic part of the intervention. I may get to a place where I can eat a piece of chocolate and smile satisfied, but that is not today... and tomorrow is unlikely too.
**** I have beaten many villains in my journey... Fried Foods, Ice cream, chips, popcorn, most candy, doughnuts, red meat, bread, pasta, rice, potatoes, most sauces and gravies, baked goods(Even cupcakes), and __________. Someday, I will fill Chocolate is that last blank, the rest of those Items I eat rarely, but they don't eat me. I own them... but they don't own me. Chocolate owns me. It really does! I am a self-admitted drama queen but I ain't lying!
I completely understand! Chocolate is my nemesis as well. I gave it up cold turkey for Lent...no chocolate protein shakes even. But then again, I'm nuts. And I know it is only for 6 weeks. One week out and I'm feeling better. It will be interesting to see what happens when Lent is over. :) Good luck conquering!! You can do it!
ReplyDeleteGood luck in conquering your nemesis.
ReplyDeleteFrienemy, that's about it. Just found your blog. You are doing great. What an inspiration for those of us who have a lot to lose.
ReplyDeleteDo you have any caffeine in your diet? Perhaps if you've been eating a lot of chocolate (which has caffeine), but not drinking tea/coffee...that could be part of the addiction? Just thinking out loud here...
ReplyDeleteI'm sooooo with you. My weight loss stalled for months because I have issues with chocolate (Reeses Peanut butter cups and pieces to be exact!).
ReplyDeleteI found when I cut it out - I could have the shakes and protein bars (chocolate flavoured) without it sending me back to the real stuff.
I think it's a combination of things (it took a long time to get my head in the right place) but I also wonder if the sugar in chocolate leads to more cravings?
Good luck - the 'cold turkey' stages suxs big time :D
I know you can do it!
You can do it! I know you can. You may have a couple set backs, it ain't gonna be easy, but you will get there and when you do we will throw a parade in your honor!
ReplyDeleteP.S. I love the new blog format, it's broken up and easy to read!
(((hugs)))
You can do it - I have faith in you! :)
ReplyDeleteGood luck...big goal but I know you can do it! I am not one of those people who can just have one or a bite and move on...i tried with snack size dove milk chocolates in my apt...well, they were gone in a week...Awesome goal and keep doing greaT!
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