Birthday Blues... and Me.

Well, yesterday was my first birthday since moving back home and It was almost uneventful. I did get to spend time with my fiesty niece and my sweet angel nephews though... which was a blessing. Becoming 42, not so much. I have been feeling middle-aged lately, not emotionally... but physically. My knees and hip have been hurting alot lately, but I want to keep active or they will be stiff too.

Anyway, I guess I should tell you that your body gets used to your new weight, if you stay there too long... so I need to get this train moving towards my goal at a faster pace. I know I've said that it's not a sprint, it's a marathon but It's also not supposed to be treading water or waiting for a bus. I feel tired, I feel bored... I need my exercise to get me moving and shake off these cobwebs on my joints.

As for my eating, It could be better, but it's not bad... It will be better. I have been keeping my fiber up but my protein has been slipping... from around 95-110 grams a day to 76-85 grams a day... which is the low end of where I need to be. I checked my BMR(Basal Metabolic Rate) which is the rate that your body burns calories in a resting state... or in case you stayed in bed all day... LOL. It's 2343.2 supposively... which even if I am slightly off with my calorie count... and get more active than the bedridden... which means I should be losing like 2 pounds a week or so. And... I'm not. So unless I am a sleep eater, something is wrong with that number.

I want to thank you all for your support and wonderful birthday messages on facebook. I know I am much healthier at age 42 than I was at 41, or 40 or 39... etc. I booked my flight to Chicago this week and I am thrilled that I got a great rate and am able to go and be with my BOOBS. Your support has been an incredible blessing to me!

BOOBS alert... I need a room or a couch for Sunday night?

Hey Folks....
I was wondering if any of you BOOBS 2.0 folks are staying at the hotel til monday? The airfare for sunday is very high so I need to stay til monday... so if anyone's staying over an extra day or lives near there and has an extra couch available... Pretty Please! I can't afford the whole room rate myself... Give me any tips or thoughts you may have... I appreciate it.

Just a bunch of stuff and things...

So I let like 8 days go by since my last post... I guess I'm keeping busier up here with all my family and friend catchups.... I am mostly doing ok with food choices and need to get back into my routine with my water intake and remembering my vitamins. I am supposed to be drinking like 128 ounces of water a day but I thought I was doing well at 100. It's 8 glasses of water for normal folks and 1 more glass of water for every 25 pounds you want to lose. That's alot of water... I am already peeing every 15-20 minutes... well, maybe 1/2 hour or so.

I am loving being so close to my nephews and have been spending loads of time with them... which keeps me active but I need to decide which gym is for me. There were 2 more I wanted to tour and check out and I can make my choice. Priorities are within 5 miles of home, weights, group classes, my cardio machines I like, pool, and everything else is a bonus... I may have to consider price too since my new insurance won't pay for the membership like my old one did.

I am worried about whether I can afford to go to Chicago this year... My husband says he doesn't want me to miss out since I enjoyed myself so much last year and met so many great new friends... but money is really tight and the flight is going to cost me like $400, plus my part of our room and other expenses. I don't want to decide at the last minute since my roommates could find someone to replace me if I gave them enough time.

My birthday is this Thursday and I am excited about spending the first birthday at home with my family and friends. My nephew Chase (3 years old) told me he's gonna make me a cake... I asked him what kind and he said... Van-Nell-Ya! Which is coincidentally his favorite! I can't wait to see his work! I wonder if he'll get fancy with fondant... or Spun sugar... I am beginning to think I watch too much Food Network.

I wonder.... Random things.

I wonder....

• If the lack on comments on my blog lately is Lack of interest, lack of working Blogger, lack of time, or maybe I should mind my own beeswax and stop trying to control your internet life...


• If my body will ever be "Skinny" to my mind?


• If chocolate is heaven sent or the devil's way to control me?


• If my weight loss will rev up again or is slow and non-existant the new thing for me?


• If life is like a box of chocolates?


• If my metabolism will ever be fast? I would love the superpower of the Mother on Ordinary Family... She had a superspeedy Metabolism and had to shove food down her throat non-stop.


• If I will ever not dream of shoving food down my throat without weight gain?


• If I will ever be able to say like some of you... My brain is fixed, I don't want to eat when I'm not hungry.


• If the Rain in Spain stays mainly on the Plain?


• If not enough will ever be too much?


• If my nephews could get any more adorable? The answer is NO.... They couldn't, but then they do...


• If these gorgeous and thin women understand that when they call themselves FAT it's uber-annoying?


• If I will ever find a gym that I love as much as my old one?


• If anyone will ever invent a chocolate that enhances weight loss... except Ex-lax?


• If we will ever see the end of this money drought?


• If I will reach my goal by next fall, like I planned? At least my first goal? It seems more difficult now, since I have re-introduced a few carbs into my meal plan... I mean Fall of 2012, just so you know I'm not completely bonkers.


• If I should find a new therapist, now that I am back in the land of cheesesteaks and soft pretzels? I would like to try one of those therapists that specializes in food addiction...


• If I should get a cheesesteak or soft pretzel to celebrate finishing this list?

Be Careful what you wish for... You might get it!

I wished....

• I wished that pasta tasted like feet, and It sorta does now... How did that happen? I used to eat pasta like 3 or 4 times a week, and now I still try a little like once a month... and I don't enjoy it but I forget that by next month's attempt. I could go for some cheese ravoli.


• I wished that I would lose weight fast, and I sorta did... Now my less that graceful movements are followed by waves of skin and loose fat trying to escape... I wish it would.


• I wished that I would be more active and have more mobility... and I sorta am... Now my husband expects me to contribute more with housework, etc... I totally loved him doing everything, I could daydream that I had a chef, maid, and butler... He still does more around the house than all my friends' husbands combined... Silver lining.


• I wished that I get through stress and sorrow without drowning them in chocolate, ice cream, and doughnuts... and I still can't completely, but when I do... The sense of accomplishment doesn't taste as good, as I hoped it would. I wish it was dipped in chocolate.


• I wished that people would look past my fat and see how beautiful I am inside and out, and now I have to make an effort to put myself together, you know... makeup, hairstyles, wardrobe, primping, hair removal... It takes some effort to be naturally gorgeous like me.


• I wished that I could save some money by eating less, and I guess I should warn you that it's more expensive to eat healthier... No matter how little you eat, hence a $.99 fast food burger is cheaper than a chobani greek yogurt, unless you hit a good sale.


• I wished that not having to shop for the largest sized clothes would save a few bucks, and it seems that the smaller I get, the more clothes I want to own... All hail the Sisterhood of the travelling pants.


• I wished that being able to have more selection of clothes would mean that I would give up the Fat Girl obsession with accessories, you know purses, jewelry, etc... but it seems like I actually want it all... Hats, Purses, shoes, jewelry, and I have my eye on a couple scarves.


• I wished that I could lose my chocolate obsession in one of the 130 pounds I've left behind, that wish hasn't been granted yet, unfortunately.


• I wished that I would find lots of support and understanding on this journey, and I have... right here on my Banded Blogosphere... I love you all, and no matter how much weight I lose on this road, I am glad a picked up a few lightweights like you along the way.

Enema... A Love Story.(Graphic for Draz...LOL)

Well, There's a first time for everything...

I have had various bathroom issues for the first time post-band, including constipation. Which I never experienced pre-band and always thought... so you aren't poopin'. What's the biggie?

I have learned over these last 15 months what the biggie is.... Big Time! I started taking a stool softener daily once I was banded and after a while, mistakenly didn't think I needed it. I started getting more fiber and seemed pretty regular.... but once in a while, if I ran out of my fiber bars, fiber one cereal(like granola in my greek yogurt), etc. Even for one day, and It is on....

What is ON? A war between my Body and My waste.... Gas pains, and constipation... lead to a horrifying experience within my bottom... like giving birth to a porcupine. I give up after several excruciating contractions... and suffer in silence. It's kinda like PMS, except instead of something draining out of your body, It's something fighting to get out, like that Alien in that Guy's stomach.

Well, This weekend while I was at my brother's house... it started rearing it's ugly head... Literally. I was grumpy on the inside but Joyful on the outside since my nephews are the sun and the moon to me. But I bided my time between attempts to evacuate, you know how it is when someone outstays their welcome... Well, it's like that only more intense, and usually you don't get dramatic enough to wish for death when your in-laws come to visit.

Late last night I returned home to George and my fluffy Son... I felt like crap, and went right to bed after several more tortureous evacuation attempts and a visit to the CVS. I am laying in weird positions on my bed inserting a long pointy hard thing in my hole, but enough about that... let's get back to the Enema. Insert Uncomfortable giggle here.... There's something special about your first time, and this was no different. I was nervous and uncomfortable, and hoping for a quick painless in and out.... and there I was experiencing my first butt douche. Where will my body draw the line?

Fast forward... I feel much better. The humiliation and discomfort is BEHIND me... My behind is out of digestive distress and Draz has long ago passed out from Overshare Distress.

PS... You may not want to Google Enema images... especially you Draz!

Mean Girls.... and Me.

Well, Life can be overly dramatic... and since I'm not in High School anymore so I am so not into the drama these days. I sometimes wish the unfriending process was as easy in real life as it is on facebook. Edit Friends.... Delete. Well, not so much. I lost a friend this week... A girl I have known for over 25 years... Actually, her brother was my best friend for 25 years, he was the best man in our wedding 16 years ago, and lived with me and George before we moved to Florida.

I was not close to his sister, although I met her at the same time that I met him. For months now he's struggled with what I think is a drug problem. So she and I started talking more on the phone, facebook, and texting back and forth, sort of bonding over our worry for him until I turned from worried to annoyed to angry. Since she is his Sister... she has no choice but to eventually forgive him when he comes around, if he ever does.

I, on the other hand, wanted to try out a new peaceful, less-dramatic existence... I am enjoying a simplier life with my George, and pretty thrilled with my new less stressful situation. I am willing to work through things when there's something to work through but for now... It's a back burner issue. I need to concentrate on things that can be worked through with people who are actively trying to enhance their lives and not drag me into a tornado of trouble.

We all know the drama that makes up our High school experience... not as much fun as I remembered. And as you all know, I went to high school with Tina Fey, so Mean Girls was written based on our high school's drama...And here I am getting called names by text and facebook, at 41 by a real life Mean Girl, a cyber bully if you will.

Back to this girl, my BFF's sister... I was never a fan, she's very self-absorbed and conversations are more like a therapy sesson than a chatfest. I mean she talks about herself and her issues... and it is not a back and forth thing. I sorta would like to talk about me a little bit... although her drama is more interesting than my vanilla happy marriage, and adoration of my nephews. I was concerned when a catch up chat every couple months turned into every week and then every day... and last weekend while I was enjoying a family BBQ/Pool party, she called like 5 times... while I was in the pool with my nephews. What? Are you serious, Maria? Why... I sure am, overly concerned follower...

Then I went back to my brother's house to stay the night so we could spend more time with my nephews and enjoy another BBQ.... and she called a couple more times, late at night with my nephews sleeping. I had texted her a couple times to say that I was with family and would call her back as soon as I could... I asked her was anything wrong? Is it an emergency? No... Are you frickin' kiddin' me?

I am all about the Texting... I text like a high school kid in study hall. It's all about the multi-tasking. I like watching TV while texting, Reading and texting, making dinner and texting, texting while on the computer... even TWP(Texting while peeing). I don't text and drive so that's the only time I will call instead. Anyway, I wasn't pleased with the 10 calls in a day and a half, at all.

Long story short...(Too Late) We are no longer friends. One of my opinions(Blaming Drugs for everything you do and say is no excuse)... Believe me, It explains alot, but excuses nothing. I am honest to a fault and I have been trying the lie by omission thing, but people don't seem to like me refusing to answer questions and changing the subject.

The moral of the Story.... Don't ask a question if you don't want the answer! *Maria* Keeping it REAL since 1969.