Hibachi, Junk in the Trunk, Cupcakes, and Chopsticks!

We went out for dinner to celebrate my one year relationship with my band. They say that the first year of any relationship is the hardest so that would be wonderful since I've lost 118 pounds and I am 118% healthier. Going out to dinner to celebrate should seem a strange way to say cheers to my new way of looking at food but it was wonderful to get together with friends and I love me some Hibachi. Anyway, I got chicken only since I'm trying to eat less red meat and it was yummy. I don't eat the rice but I had a few noodles as you can see... I got me a child's chopstick setup for dramatic effect...LOL. I also ate broccoli, carrots, and a little salad. It was delish and of course I had leftovers. Here I am with my children's chopsticks... they are easier than the regular ones...

If you mock me with my kiddie chopsticks, I'm gonna poke you in the eye.... LOL

Yum, Veggies! and an Onion Volcano... Watch out!

My George got a cupcake since his birthday was earlier this month and we used his birthday coupon, but It's not batting it's eyes and me and tempting me.... I'm gonna punch it! Where's my chopstick numchuks?

Do you know me at all? I love cupcakes. but I only took one bite and let my George have the rest so I could resent him the rest of the night.

Here I am, 1 year old and 118 pounds lighter... I am almost 1/2 way through my journey.

I still got that junk in the trunk... and those thunder thighs but I am getting there. I can't help but notice that the loose skin is starting to make me look pregnant. On to year two!

Stuck Faux Pas!

Well, We've all been there... In the______(Insert restaurant name here) feeling stuck (ate too fast, couldn't resist the bread, or overeat because it's way yummy)... and making a run for the Bathroom hoping to not toss your cookies before locating it...

Picture it Orlando, 2011. A sexy redhead is out with her equally gorgeous husband George... at a place named after a day of the week actually one people are usually thankful for getting to... She has seen a fancy fish entree on the TV ads... She loves fish post-band... She eagerly orders the parmesan-crab crusted flounder with green beans... and paitently awaits it's arrival. She hasn't eaten much today, very little in fact, and she is starving.

Finally, her fish is caught... and she gazes longingly at it, thinking about where to attack first. Her first bite is delectable, her second devine... her third, non-existant since the first 2 linger bandside... and she sits sulking hoping that it goes down so she can enjoy a few more bites before happily packing the rest up for later....but,

And she's off.... where is it? The bathroom has moved... She can't find it... It has to be here somewhere... and she may not make it... holding her breath, there it is, she power walks in and looks to the right a trash can awaits... and she turns to the left.... and a man is using the urinal...OMG! Is he in the wrong bathroom? She backs out quietly to make sure it's his mistake and it's not... She doesn't feel as stuck now, since the humiliation which would usually cause a lump in her throat has caused the opposite effect in her case. She races across the hall to the other room after finding the stick figure in the frock.

Long story short... She keeps the fish in, and waits til the red dies down in her face, wondering whether her George should hear the tale of embarrassment curing the Stuck. Knowing that even if she didn't tell him... She would definitely tell you.

I actually enjoy my workouts... What up?

Here I am with my trainer, Justin... He's a cutie and so understanding of my physical limitations. He knows how to push me just right. I workout at the YMCA, as you can see. I didn't want my George to get other people accidentally in the background, since folks don't usually like to be "Seen" working out at the Gym, all sweaty and such.

Lateral Pull, one of the 4 machines I do for my strength training...It's not so bad.

The Leg Press, which is my favorite... since all this weight I am carrying around has given me the strongest legs in the world, well, maybe not the strongest, but the strongest of my limbs...LOL

The Upright Row, on a boat going to nowhere... and I'm getting a little annoyed at George asking me to smile for the photos at this point... Working out is no laughing matter...LOL

The Chest Press, The most evil of the machines... It is my hardest... I guess my chest is the least muscular... well, chest, shoulders, back arms... and whatever else this psycho works out... My husband loves my flabby chest though...LOL

This is one of the Elliptical machines, easily to walk into for those of us who have a farther walk to fitness. It is a much harder workout than my recumbent bikes so I mix the Two... I unfortunately don't have a photo of myself on the recumbent bike since my hubby couldn't stay but I would have been a sweated mess anyway, since the Elliptical wears me out.

Leaving my Gym and my Trainer is hard, but I have been looking into a Gym near my new home. I really enjoy the YMCA because the people there aren't there for a meat market... They are there to workout, and it's a family place with people of all ages and fitness levels. Some of them are nicer than others... The one I go to is like a Country Club Y... LOL. Anyway, It is difficult to get started and to get re-started but once you keep going 4 or 5 times a week is easier than I ever thought and when I don't go... I Wii Just Dance or do my Zumba DVDs... So, I can keep this weight loss going in the right direction.

As for eating, I have been off Chocolate for over a week and staying strong. It can be hard to resist at times but I've had no real cravings so far... which eating it causes me... So that's good. I love Bagels and really have missed them since eating them is Stuck City. I found that Rold Gold has Everything Bagel pretzels and I love pretzels and love Bagels... so the combo was hard to resist. I got them and they're delicious. They are about the size of a quarter and round with a hole in the middle like a bagel. 14 of them are in a serving for 120 calories and 22 carbs(higher than I like, but... once in a while) 2 are dietary fiber(Always good). I separate them into servings using ziploc bags, which keeps me from overeating. I have been doing that with everything including my fiber one cereal. It's easy to do when I buy it and way convienent in a time crunch. I love to grab and go...

I have been loving "Hungry Girl" Lisa Lillen's new show on the Cooking Channel... She's fabulous and her ideas are easy to incorporate into our diets. She suggest making our own trail mixes which she does with popcorn, Fiber one cereal, chocolate covered soybeans, and nuts. You don't have a full serving of any one item at a time... and mix it up. She bags them into baggies for grab and go... I might try it with my new Bagel pretzels... who knows!

I have been taking a 1/4 or a 1/2 serving of the original fiber one bran cereal and mixing it into my Greek Yogurt and it's giving it a great extra texture and some crunch and a nice fiber boost. Instead of Granola which is not usually high-fiber and is usually high-sugar... Keep mixing it up to see what works for you...

One year into my Journey...

When I see these photos now, I think... Thank Goodness for cropping.

Our 10 year wedding anniversay trip to Disney's Vero Beach Resort... Baby Got Back! Mickey's Backyard BBQ... Baby Got Front!

Right after we bought our first house... April of 2005, the date is wrong on the photo.

The Day before surgery... Pre-op Visit. I think the biggest difference is that I am no longer ROUND... I have an hourglass(More like a Weekglass) figure back after like 7 years or so... That was the last time I was the size I am now... but the best is yet to come!

and...

I am loving my Gym life... I go to the gym 4 or 5 days a week. I do my strength training 3 days a week and on those days I also do Cardio Interval training, and on the days I don't do my strength training I just do cardio. I am more active, everyday.

and...

I love alot of healthy foods, I love grilled fish, especially Tilapia or Mahi Mahi, Greek Yogurt, Grilled Chicken, Broccoli, Green Beans, Baby Spinach, Butternut Squash, and I am trying new things to add to my favorites everyday.

and...

I hardly ever feel depressed(Exercise helps with the chemical imbalances that cause clinical depression)... although i do sometimes feel frustrated or overwhelmed. I feel powerful, like I am in control for the first time in my life. I feel knowledgeable, and able to make informed food choices... and more than a few uninformed ones too.

and...

*****I feel beautiful, I lost that somewhere in the last 100 pounds I gained or so... I smile all the time, I enjoy life with less limits, I dream again( The fat dried up my dreams pretty good too), I love well and often(I don't wonder why my husband is so madly in love with me or how he could possibly be attracted to me, and for a while there... It was hard not to wonder)...

and...of course,

*******I'm going home to where fat began, to where I was formed, molded, and raised... To where my family resides and thrives... To where Cheese is a condiment and butter is a staple... To where Soft Pretzels live( I love soft pretzels!), To the City of Brotherly Love... and My sweet Nephews who My Loving Brother blessed us with... This is a place where dessert is a course... and people eat it first to make sure they have room... And Where I am going to become my inner Supermodel! You will see, Stay Tuned!

One month ago on our cruise... Formal night, I love this dress and when I got it, It was too small. So I tried it for our last cruise in October and it was still a little too tight, I wasn't even gonna try it this time since I haven't lost alot since last October but It is loose now and hangs a little like a bag on me. Not very flattering to my new hourglass figure.... but at least I got to wear it once.

This is one month ago on my cruise...

This was a week ago... at EPCOT... I can see alot of differences from my befores, and alot of loose skins and lumps... LOL

I see you... Yes, You! Your comments lift my spirits, your friendship lifts my heart, and your support... Lifts my Weights! I am stronger with you in my corner! And thinner.... LOL

My Hat's off to you all! Thanx for your support... I am so glad that you are all part of my Healthier, Happier Life!

PS... I am giving up on the paragraphs thing, I am obviously not tech suavy... and I ramble in real-life too, as alot of you already know. I am trying to make paragraphs, and it seems to work sometimes... and then other times, not so much.

Today...One year ago...

This photo was taken at my surgeon's office one year ago, today. It was after the pre-op diet where I lost 15.6 pounds and so I weighed 452 pounds. My highest weight was 475 pounds the previous November at my Seminar... which means I only lost 7 pounds in the 5 months before the pre-op diet. The same amount I lost in 1 week on the liquid diet. I struggled to lose weight all through out my life unless I suffered and deprived myself on a strict diet. Well, It hasn't been easy this last year... I have worked for every pound lost of the 116 pounds but I kept with it, hardly ever felt deprived(Even after giving up chocolate 4 days ago), and most importantly... Maintained my weight loss when I screwed up or binged out. I am not on a diet, I feel normal for the first time in my life. I don't have to feel guilty if I have a cookie or cupcake... because this is a lifestyle and "Normal" people eat cake once in a while. I could have dieted and exercised like a maniac... and I would have lost more weight... and my road is long ahead. But I am on the right road, for the first time in my life. And I am never alone on that road... You are all with me, some of you have walked already when I have been and some are walking with me, and some will follow me along this road but we have each other and are "Banded" for life. I will post some during photos tomorrow on my actually Bandiversary.

Detox... Day 2- The Ghiradelli Dilemma

Well, I made it through Day 2 and I am feeling pretty great. My Aunt and family were visiting Universal Studios this weekend and we met up with them today before they flew home tonight. My Aunt Donna is a little over 4 years older than me and we are more like sisters so i was thrilled to get to see her.

We went to Downtown Disney and had lunch at Earl of Sandwich( I had 1/2 of a yummy Chinese Chinese Salad, Yay! for leftovers)... Then we went to Ghiradelli's for ice cream. I didn't want them to feel bad about my chocolate detox... so I went along and had a scoop of sugar free butter pecan ice cream(Also Yummy) and wasn't tortured by them all eating the most delicious decadent chocolate gooey stuff.

Anyway, I beat my Super Villain today.... I beat the CHOCOLATIER! The war is far from over but today's battle was mine!

Chocolate Detox... Day 1

It was easy all day but I have cravings tonight, which is strange since I ate very little carbs today because I didn't want cravings....and I didn't eat chocolate every day before this. Well, I drank one of my protein shakes which is Rich Dark Chocolate flavor and it seems to have curbed my cravings with no sugar and very little carbs. Yay! I hope to get to the point when I don't miss it, but it is not likely. I have a friend who gave up chocolate like 9 years ago and still would like to have it, even now. We'll see what tomorrow brings, I probably should have chose a day that i don't go to the gym to start my detox, since working out makes me crave carbs. But hindsight is always 20/20...

I was thinking alot about rewards... Rewards were always food based before my surgery. Eating in my favorite restaurant, ice cream, and of course expensive chocolates. So since that wouldn't be a healthy way to go, these days. I haven't been able to reward myself for my weight loss so far... I thought about a pandora bracelet that I could add charm beads to for each of the milestones I hit, i thought about trips(Since I love to travel), designer purses, a new wardrobe... The verdict. I have everything I want, and if I don't have it... I get it. So the only way to reward myself is to first deprive myself... Which usually causes problems.

I should tell you I have an addictive personality, which means food is not my only obsession... Shopping, is a close second. Since I never fit in anything worth obsessing over... Clothes wasn't where it was at for me. But I have a ton of purses, hats, and shoes... waiting for the perfect outfit that never came in my size. I actually have bought alot of clothes over the years that I intended to shrink into... and now, I've shrunk out of them. Yay! for me!

Back to the problem at hand, without rewards and goals... I don't have anything to shoot for... a deadline if you will. But for me... It has to be big, and something to save for too. So, I hate my teeth. They're yellow from having fevers or something as a child...They're so friggin' small, they make my gums look huge like Molly Ringwald's, and they're weak so they're chipped. I want new crowns, bigger and whiter. I am not sure how much this will cost but I am going to find out once we move. I love to smile, and I have such a nice smile, so shouldn't I have nice teeth. I am going to research how much this would all cost and maybe spread it out to several rewards.

Well, I never really mention goals much, because my journey began because my weight had caused many health problems... all of which are cured. So I guess It's time for more goals, My 25 year High School reunion will be in the fall of 2012. So that it the date I will set to be at my goal weight. I don't want to set a date too soon since i have so much left to lose. So If I get there before then... great! And I may rethink my goals... along the way.

My Super Villain... Frienemy!

I am sure those of you who know me... know who the Super Villain to my Wonder Woman is... The Chocolatier! The original Frienemy... I have a love/hate relationship with Chocolate, since as long as I can remember... even before I was Pleasantly Plumpin' up! I have been giving it alot of thought for several days now, and I have experienced all levels of this addiction... So, Why can't I give up the drug? I know that food addiction is the worst addiction since you can't go COLD turkey on food... but I could give up Chocolate, physically... but emotionally, not so much. I can't get my head around it! I know it causes me stalls in weight loss, weight gain, binges, cravings, and obsessions that I want to leave behind me... The result of all this thought... IF I CAN GIVE UP CHOCOLATE, I CAN BEAT THE WHOLE THING!

***Will I have to give up my favorite protein shakes because they are chocolate flavored? I hope not, It took me a long time to find protein shakes that were low carb and didn't taste like HELL! Well, at first I will only give up Chocolate that melts... Like Candy Bars, regular or sugar free.

****If the cravings don't stop, I will have to give up my sugar free dark chocolate pudding... and I hope it doesn't come to that. I will only eat them if I want chocolate... and need to fill the void. I am probably going to ween myself off them too, but baby steps, People!

****I am hoping that I will enjoy the chocolate flavor of the protein shakes enough to squash the need for other chocolate replacement items.

****I realize how silly I sound but this is my Kryptonite... and I need to get to a better place with food. I am not at this happy green place that I read about in other blogs and I blame myself. Eating is still more important to me than It should be. I don't want to eat alot of the time, not because of not being hungry but because I want to eat things that aren't good choices for me... If I curb the cravings, I will kill the beast.

****You may ask, Why Maria? Why would you wait til you are almost banded a year to make this change? Well, Let me be honest, I was hoping to be one of these bandsters who eat one square of chocolate and savor it, and walk away satisfied... I am not one of these lucky bitches, no offense to those of you who are.... I wish I was one of the COOL kids who can do Chocolate and not have it be a "Gateway Drug"... like it is to me. You know who you are.... I used to think Ice cream was my kryptonite, but I can eat a little and walk away satisfied... Now who's the lucky bitch? I hardly even have ice cream anymore... or cookies, chips, etc. Chocolate made me it's bitch years ago, and now I need to fight back.

****Think of this like an intervention that i am having over blogland... This post is mostly me thinking out loud. I know you will support me in the hardest fight of my life.... This is the overly dramatic part of the intervention. I may get to a place where I can eat a piece of chocolate and smile satisfied, but that is not today... and tomorrow is unlikely too.

**** I have beaten many villains in my journey... Fried Foods, Ice cream, chips, popcorn, most candy, doughnuts, red meat, bread, pasta, rice, potatoes, most sauces and gravies, baked goods(Even cupcakes), and __________. Someday, I will fill Chocolate is that last blank, the rest of those Items I eat rarely, but they don't eat me. I own them... but they don't own me. Chocolate owns me. It really does! I am a self-admitted drama queen but I ain't lying!

Night hungers... are coming to get me!

There's one thing... well, probably more than one, since my Band installation last year, that hasn't FIXED itself yet and I need your advice. I eat well all day, and once we get into night hours, the wanting takes over... I want to eat. I am not sure what but I want to eat. I don't feel like eating most of the day and have to "force" myself to get my protein in and have the energy to workout and keep off my A$$. I need to keep my body moving... since the more I move, the better I feel.

Here are the things I've tried to do to keep from nighthungers...

1)Cut my carbs down... I love chocolate(I eat sugar-free) and other sweets but I cut down my carbs without being willing to cut out chocolate completely. I don't eat white foods: Rice, Bread, and pasta... and hardly any potatoes, although for some reason after my banding I crave mashed potatoes even though I've never liked them. I have added some carbs when i added fiber to my diet but not too many. When I read Jen(It's is all about me!) mentioned that her doctor just told her to eat no more than 30 carbs a day and at least 60 grams of protein, I was shocked. I have been eating like 50 carbs a day to 100 on a bad day... so I am cutting out my protein bars, greek yogurt, and cutting down as much as I can. So, how do you get enough fiber in your diet while keeping your carbs low? How much benefiber do you take each day?

2)I also try to fill up on low calorie/low carb snacks... like pickles, mostly pickles... that's what my doctor tells me to eat for a snack if I'm hungry between meals. I asked him if fried pickles were alright, but he didn't see the humor in that.

3)Keeping busy... I tried working out again at night, reading, packing and going through stuff, and going to bed early... even sex, to distract me from the night hungers... In the Geneen Roth books on Complusive eating, she says that when you want to eat when you're not hungry, it means you're really hungry for something else.

4)I've tried doing the mind exercises in Geneen Roth's books, basically to figure out what will fill the void... instead of food, It hasn't worked so far, but it has helped.

So what do you think I should try to get out of this rut... and jumpstart my weight loss. I expected it to slow or even stop with strength training but I didn't expect the hunger to get so much worse.

Another day, Another Dollop!

I think that our new motto should be "Another day, Another Dollop", since our a little of this and a little of that, has become the new normal. I was so proud of myself yesterday, because I went to a buffet and didn't feel like "I have to get my money's worth!!" It is only $6.49 at the Golden Corral, because I pay the senior price because of my lapband... so "Money's Worth" is silly. I had a little spoonful of this and a little forkful of that... ate off a small plate, and ate protein first, and the Icing on the cake... I got a chocolate cupcake and stared at it throughout the meal... and took 2 small bites of it and left the rest... Ok, Ladies and Gentlemen, You know how I love cupcakes... my husband calls me "Cupcake" because of my love for them... I even love the show Cupcake Wars on the Food Network. But I took 2 baby bites! And didn't beat myself up for wasting it! And I felt great when I left, not stuffed and bloated. i love that they have the nutritional information on the buffet so I can make informed decisions about what to eat too. I had a small piece of broiled fish, broccoli, a small dollop of mashed potatoes(I never liked them but started craving them after my band install, weird?), a hushpuppy(Just 1, Don't hate me because I love fried food, fried is 1 letter away from friend, I really wanted another but i didn't go back), a spoonful of tuna salad, and 2 bites of a cupcake... Definitely more than I normally eat at a meal, but not a ton. I almost skipped out of the restaurant... feeling victorious for the day!

The Redheaded StepChild... in the 12 step program.

Me with my sweet nephew Blake... The story starts with him, and ends with him since I can't seem to move this photo to the bottom(See previous post about my lack of technical skills)

"Once in his life, every man is entiltled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead"-Lucille Ball"While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats." Mark Twain
Me in Grade School, about 9 or 10, I was mature looking for my age... wasn't I ?

Hey, Well... i have sorta dropped the ball with blogging everyday, i know I have things to say but I can't seem to get my thoughts in order... but here goes. I was thinking I would tell you about a driving force in my life... My hair. Now, know this... I am not a hair bear, it is just got out of bed, bedhead messy mostly but it is RED and my eyes are brown, incredibly rare combo... Now, I know a few of you are redheads too, but most of you are not and that's because it is quite rare still, even though many people are "dying" to be a redhead. Pun intended... I didn't always cherish my hair, as a child I was teased viciously because of it. I even asked my Mom to dye it many times so I could be "Like everyone else" By the time I was in Junior High/Middle School, the same boys who had teased me were taken in by my "Charm"... So now, I consider my red hair a lucky charm of sorts.

Me, after embracing my Hair color...

Let us look at the stereotypes... Fiery temper(Sometimes Check), Sexpot/sexy/overly sexual/oversexed(Sorta check and I wishand everything in between), Fiesty Personality(Double check), Adventureous(Definite Check), Ugly(Not a chance check), Snobby(Never in my life check), prone to sunburn(Ouch Check), Irish(A little Check, mostly German), Trouble(Usually check), Fire Crotch(Yep, Tru dat check), Charlie Brown loves the little Redheaded Girl(Damn right, check)...

Well, because of the teasing, i found strength in red-haired characters growing up like Pippi Longstocking, Strawberry Shortcake, Nancy Drew, Daphne from Scooby Doo, Jane Jetson and Wilma Flintstone(Pretty strongwilled wives), Anne of Green Gables, and the list goes on... as time went on I added Jessica Rabbit and Ariel, the little mermaid to that list and more recently Jesse from Toy Story, but anyone/anything with reddish hair would do for my young mind... including Garfield, and Oliver from Oliver and Company... In my subconcious mind, I thought if redheads were so ugly, why would so many people chose to make their characters redheaded... there were more redheaded character than they were actual redheads... LOL, I am happy that the young redheads now have Kim Possible, Ginger from the series as told by Ginger, Madeline, Darby from my friends Tigger and Pooh, and many many others... My favorite was always Pippi... who was strong and no one teased her and everyone wanted to be her friend... even though she had bright red hair in braids that stuck straight out from the sides of her head.

The reason I mention my redhead bliss... Is that I found that redheaded child again several times recently... Julianne Moore(Actress) has a wonderful book series called Freckleface Strawberry which teaches redheads to love their hair and even find being different wonderful... and I wished that it was around when I was growing up. But the biggest reason is my youngest nephew Blake is obviously a redhead... and his parents(My brother and his wife) aren't very happy about it, because my brother saw how I was teased and doesn't want his son to face the same and my SIL is a Guidance Counseler whose seen the redheaded children who are teased and tried to console them. Well, for a while, Blake will be 1 in May, they kept saying he has strawberry blonde hair, but when I saw it... I knew it was the same as mine. My hair was dark strawberry blonde as a child and it's darkened over the years... but it was more strawberry than blond, if you know what I mean. The other day, my brother finally admitted to my Mom... "Blake has Maria's hair" and sorrow filled his voice. I understand not wanting your child to suffer, I wouldn't wish the teasing on any child but Kids are cruel and if they don't tease you for having red-hair, then they'll find something else. Blake is a beautiful child, with a sweet temperament and a smile that light up the room... He will win over his critics, like I did. I know he will... I would be more worried about him getting our metabolism(Instead of his Mom's), since FAT has been much more of a burden, for much more of my life than having red-hair. i guess I should just be glad that the FAT came during my teenage years, or I would have been the FAT Red-haired Kid... Double Whammy!

Run-on sentences and personal training...

Forgive me Followers... for I am Dumb. Catherine mentioned something that has always bothered me, My blogging, as you can see... Is one big run-on sentence... because I don't know how to fix it... I try to write in paragraphs but it always ends up looking like one big paragraph. So, I need a crash course... I need to admit that I may be a wordsmith in speech but in the written word.... not so much. Luckily, Speech doesn't always show grammar and such.... And I talk so fast that the run-on sentences aren't as obvious in speech. Anyway, How do you all make your blogs look so clean and neat and easy to read? Do you write them on here or in Microsoft Word or whatever and transfer them to here by copy and paste or whatever? BTW, I had my first session with my Personal Trainer today, Justin, and he's so sweet and young and pocket sized but pretty muscular. I love the big YMCA near me... All the personal training is computerized, so when i enter my code, the machine tells me the settings for the chair, back, etc and it tells me what weight I have been working with... which I can raise when I am ready. I feel a little sore, but not so bad. I am going to do the strength training 3 times a week... basically every other day and the cardio i will do more often. I am not getting my hopes up but I am still trying to seperate this mess into paragraphs... and it may be working, if it reads like one long sentence... i spoke too soon. Well, my eating has been pretty good but not perfect. When I workout... i am more hungry, more often. My carbs are a little higher than they used to be since I am eating 25-30 grams of dietary fiber a day too. I did treat myself to some yummy Yoplait Dessert yogurts... they are like 100 calories each and taste like a dessert. I love the Thick and Creamy Lemon Meringue creme one best... It's a nice low calorie treat. Bear in mind, The dessert yogurt are a treat with only 5 or 6 grams of protein... unlike my Greek Yogurt which is a meal, but still yummy.

Remembering my Dad on his birthday!

Here I am with my Daddy at my first Christmas 1969... I was already a Daddy's Girl.

My first Christmas with my Mom and Dad... I was an only child for a little while... LOL

The Day in 1976 when my Dad became a US Citizen... I was 7 years old.

My Dad joking with me while doing the yard work... and yes, that's my sexy George in the background without his shirt... LOL. I think it was 2000 or 2001

My Dad loved his beer, I know it's a shocking trait for a German... Huh?

I'm keeping up with this bandiversary month at least one post a day... So far. Well, today would have been my Dad's 73rd birthday but we lost him to Pancreatic Cancer 8 years ago... He was an amazing man, He was born in Romania as a German citizen... He and his family were chased from their home there by the Russians at the very start of World War 2. They were forced to leave almost everything behind and what valuables they had left were taken from them on the road when they were attacked and robbed by a band of gypsies. My Dad's Mom, my MomMom had the earrings ripped from her earlobs and the snake tongue looking tears remained as a daily reminder of what they had gone through... When they got to Germany, the war got worse and they took my PopPop to a Work Camp and my MomMom and the kids to a Displaced person camp... Even though they were German citizens, being born in another country and living there made them displaced. They lived in a one room shack with 3 other families and used sheets as walls for privacy. My Aunts were taken to join the Hitler youth, since they didn't believe what Hitler had been saying and did not want to leave their family, while on the train, My Aunt Anne faked an attack of appendicitis, she bent over in pain wailing until the took her to hospital and removed her Appendix, luckily you don't have to have it to live... Her sister Ella was alowed to stay with her and they went back to their family to recooperate. My father was the man of the house as a little boy and would do anything to keep his family fed... he worked on a bread truck for the day to get them a loaf of bread, collected scrap and old weapons to sell, worked the milk truck to get a jug of milk, etc. He was 5 or 6... at the time. When the war was over, they were still together but didn't know where my PopPop was... since he was forced to go to the work camp. My Aunt Anne was dating a US Army Soldier and he helped to find him, dying of tuberculosis in a hospital... He pulled through and they tried to rebuild the lives that were taken from them when the war began. My Dad toured all over Europe on his motorcycle, it might be where my travel bug came from... When he was 18, he was riding his motorcycle home late one night and was hit and run... left to die, the motorcycle landed on top of him... He was luckily found by the milkman making deliveries... but he was in a coma for several weeks and in the hospital for 2 months... One of his legs was shorter than the other and he walked with a slight limp and a pin in his hip for the rest of his life... One thing I thought was incredibly interesting was the steel factory where he worked paid him his full salary for the whole 6 months that he was recooperating. Amazing, huh? I am thinking that I might be interested in all these stories since he was my Daddy... and you may not since he wasn't yours.... but hey, it's my blog and I can bore if I want to... Well, In 1959, my Dad and his family emigrated to the US, Philadelphia, PA, he met my Mom 5 years later and I was born 10 years later. So I am a first generation American... My Dad became a US citizen in 1976, fitting, huh? I remember how proud he was and the photo of him next to the Liberty bell that he took that day. I know that I am sad to have lost him so young and so fast but... I was so blessed to have him as a Father at all. And I miss him everyday. BTW, these stories were told to me in a mix of Germish... My MomMom told me and my brother and sister so we could know what type of man, my father was... since he would never blow his own horn...LOL Anyway, Happy Birthday Dad! I miss you much, but Love you more.

Inspiring? Adventureous? ME?

Since this month is my one year mark since my basnd installation date... March 23rd, to be exact. I wanted to mention some strange changes since one year ago. I have been a weight loss expert for years... I know how to lose weight but since I haven't been totally successful at getting it all off and keeping it off, no one acknowledged my skill level... Well, now people ask me for tips and take me seriously when i give advice on how to regain their health... Because even though I haven't lost all my excess weight, and may never... lose it all, I have turned my health sompletely around and take an active effort in keeping myself healthy and active. In other words, the student has become the teacher... not that I don't have more to learn, we never run out of things to learn, but I know what works for me... and what doesn't. One of you amazing women, actually called me Adventureous! That word could always describe my spirit but I dreamed of the day when I could take on adventures like my spirit took flight and I am getting there, one day at a time. I feel like I am a changed person... and losing weight has never made me feel that way before. I may not always make good food choices, who does? but I do most of the time... and It feels great to be fueling my body and soul with my choices... and i feel like cha cha poo poo... when i carb out! I have been called inspirational! Me? i would understnad someone who is at goal and working at keeping it off while curing cancer and feeding the homeless but me? Inspirational is the best thing I could ask to be... I see people struggling with their weight and food choices, and I want to help... I want to Inspire others as you have all inspired me, I want to be a little Ray of Sunshine like Amy, A brilliant charitible mind like Grace, A true life Sex in the City character like Catherine, A Sweet Survivor like Kim and Amey, A Strong thoughtful Superwoman like Barb, A stiletto wearing sexpot like Stephanie, A incredibly poetic mind like Draz, A charismatic Cutie like Carmie, A sexy Supermodel like Kristen, A Marathon runner like Jen, Ms. M, and so many other of you... You all inspire me to be the best me that i can be! And I can only hope that I do the same for all of you!

Ruby's back!

Well, tonight is the season premiere for RUBY... and she's gained back 60 pounds(I didn't see that coming, She says sarcastically while rolling her eyes wildly)... I didn't always watch the show, I found her character annoying and whiney but I started watching again, after finding my own character whiney and annoying too... Well, I see all the addictive behaviors that I struggle with myself... so It is easy for me to relate to her, but I wish she would realize that it is ok to admit we need help sometimes... and I am happy that I got help for my addictions. There's no cure for the addiction only periods of remission. I will watch the show mostly because gaining back is my biggest fear. When I plateau like right now... I am most afraid, since it is one step from a regain. If I see the scale hop up for a day or two, I freak out, but eating right gets it to come right back down... and losing would be much better than not gaining. **************************************************************************************PS>>> The show is a reality show on the Style network, It is a true story of a Ruby Gettiger, a morbidly obese woman's struggle to lose weight... She weighed like 716 pounds when she started to try to lose weight. She has lost hundreds of pounds with diet and exercise...

Biggest Loser? Or just a Regular Loser?

Well, I am sure I've mentioned to you that I don't watch the Biggest Loser but I guess I should give it a try since I now love the show "Heavy"... and many of you watch the show every week loyally. Today, Here in Orlando, at Universal Citywalk... there were open auditions for the 12th season of the show "The Biggest Loser"... I can't get an exact number of people that showed up but the lines that they showed on the news looked like thousands... I know they claimed that they would see the first 500 people at least who need to lose at least 100 pounds. My friend, Wendy, was #391... I am not sure what happened with her interview yet although I was keeping up with her progress in line on facebook earlier. The reason that I do not agree with the show is that anyone can lose weight with no distractions or daily routine holding them back... Jobs, Stress, kids, school, marriage and other serious relationships... are a part of most of our lives. If we could all go to a "Fat" Camp for adults where we work out all day long and only take breaks to eat 2 ounces of grilled chicken and a lettuce leaf...otherwise known as the Chicken and Lettuce Bitch diet. We would be annoyed, cranky, sore, and miserable but we would be thinner. Then you are sent back to your regular stress filled life... with dancing sugarplums filling your head and about 10-30 minutes a day and less than $10 a day to make healthy meals... and stay away from carbs. Since there's no extra time for exercise... We try dancing around during other activities... like showering and slip on the soap... or try to hula hoop while doing the laundry. I think you get the extremely sarcastic point. And obviously I exaggerated for dramatic effect... What else is new? Well, i have rambled long enough... but Wendy(My Loser Friend... still hoping to be the biggest one) has said on many occasions to me... "I want to lose weight the natural way" or "I want to lose weight the right way"... I'm sure she didn't mean to cut down the way I chose to lose weight... but the tone was questionable... To make a long story more long... Now, the Girl who wants to lose weight naturally or the right way... would like to be whipped into shape on TV in front of millions of Lookey Loos... chewing on her lettuce and chicken... What's so natural about that? Losing weight, my way, her way, or the biggest loser's way... is all good... There is no right or wrong way, just your way. Anyway, Go get it Wendy! You would spice up that show, for sure!

My George's Birthday...

GeoTagged, [N28.36979, E81.51908]

Well, Happy Birthday to my George.... He's 43 years old today and since I stopped aging years ago, my old man seems like a cradle robber these days... We went on that cruise to celebrate his birthday so today was really downplayed... Just a nice dinner at his favorite steakhouse and the movies... Gotta love the simple things in life! It is a day of great celebration for me since this is the anniversary of the day God gave the Earth My Prince.... And I look forward to celebrating many more birthdays together and with our families soon! Happy Birthday to my other half!!! I love you so much, I think my heart will burst!

When did FAT begin?....

Looking back at my history of self esteem... here I am at about 18... I look like I am so happy and full of confidence... I was beautiful. I know I still am beautiful... but somewhere along the way, I stopped trying.Here I am on my honeymoon... I was 26 years old and totally in love with my husband... which is why i allowed him to take this photo of me in a bathing suit... in our private pool... There are hardly any photos of me other than close ups taken after 1991... I was in deep FAT awareness from then on... but for George... anything. Of course, I never expected anyone else to see this photo... and now, I would kill to look so good in a swimsuit.
In 1982, Our family took our first trip to DisneyWorld... and here i am in shorts... Only complete and total giddyness in the Happiest Place on Earth, would inable the allowance of my legs in full view... Those were some great Gams... but I didn't see it, at the time. All I saw was thunder thighs...

Does this naked little girl in the tub with her sister look like she's worried about Cellulite? Not yet, 1972, I was 3 years old... and blissfully naked.How about a bikini shot? Does this sweet little girl with her sister bathing in the summer sun seem concerned about stretch marks? It was 1974 and I was about 5

Here I was at 12... and i know I already thought I was fat... but I was gorgeous... and I can't believe that i wouldn't cherish my amazing curves...

Now, at 16... I was overly curvy... on my way to FATtown but not there yet... Of course, I thought I was huge... And I would kill for that body today.

Here I am at 20, 2 years before I met my George... and i couldn't put enough clothes on to cover my immense frame... Do you see where this is going?

I think sometime after or during puberty... when all my curves were coming into play... And the FAT... creeped into my mind first and then onto my ass... I wished I wasn't so worried about being or getting Fat long enough to just enjoy my teenage melodrama... You only get to once usually... unless you are cast on 90210 or something. I am trying to look at these photos with a fresh eye... and learn to like what I see.