You just met a girl named Maria...: September 2012

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Lexapro a GoGo....

Well, The verdict is in.... Lexapro is helping alot with my Night Eating Syndrome and me binge eating. It has also helped clearing my mind and lets me make quality decisions more often. I am really thrilled. Good choices means Success.
Unfortunately, my right knee is really bad so I haven't been able to do my walking but I need to make an effort to get to the gym so I can swim.
I am awaiting Insurance approval for my Gastric Bypass... but I am not worried. I have waited this long...
In a little over a week, We head down to Orlando for my George to work some hours at Disney. I look forward to seeing some friends and seeing the theme parks.... I am hoping my knee will get better since walking is necessary. I don't wanna end up back in a wheelchair. I also look forward to going to my old support group, I haven't been able to find one up here that I like as much.
I have been seeing alot of movies as usual.... I really Loved Hotel Transylvania(Released September 28th), for all you folks that have kids or those who are kids at heart like me. It was a great story and great fun for people of all ages. Pitch Perfect(Released October 5th) is a great Girls night movie, It is also alot of fun. Here Comes the Boom(Released October 12th) is funny and really heartfelt, It is another great story where a teacher becomes a professional fighter to earn money to keep the music program at his school, These are issues we need to care about expressed in a sweet funny way. While we are talking about important issues, Won't Back Down(Released September 28th) is a amazing true story about 2 mothers(One who is a teacher) who fight to open their own school when they find that their children are falling through the cracks. Viola Davis and Maggie Gyllenhal are incredible. House at the End of the Street was very disappointing, I didn't enjoy it at all. I wouldn't recommend it at all. But it was a decent story and there were some good twists and turns. Wait for DVD... Trouble with the Curve was a nice story and I liked it since I love Baseball. But it wasn't great so I would wait for DVD. As you know, I see these movies for free so I see pretty much everything. But If I had to pay, I would wanna get my money's worth. So if you want to see something... Ask me and I will be honest.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

I am a ~~Loser~~ Gainer in the Game of Life... I gain all kinds of weight. And I can't lose it permanently. This is true on my weight loss journey, most of the time... but it is also true with my friends. I find that there are very few people whom I consider Close to me, friend-wise. And I have a few friends who are mostly needy and suck the life out of me... It would be nice if They sucked the fat out of me... You know Two Birds One Stone, and all. Well, every time I think of writing about one of them I think... What if they find this and read it?(Probably i should start writing a journal that isn't on the World Wide Web and all). I think one or two may follow me from when I first started this blog. So I guess that means I value their friendship... since I don't wanna lose it, but one of them is being even more needy than usual and I am there for them as much as possible but 3 and 4 in the morning are for emergency calls, not "I had an idea" calls. How can I put boundaries on my friends? Unconditional love is hard....

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Quick Update....

Well, I am struggling to not gain any weight between my surgeries... So since I have Night Eating Syndrome, which basically means I eat fine all day but after dinner.... I can't stop eating and never feel full. I am also a Binge Eater.... So The Doctor who did my Psych Eval for surgery who wrote the book "Overcoming Night Eating Syndrome" and is expert in the field, She has done studies with the drugs Zoloft and Lexapro which are prescribed for depression and anxiety usually... and they helped alot with Night Eating Syndrome and Binge Eating in over 80% of the cases, and it will be a bonus if they help with my depression and anxiety... So my PCP prescribed Lexapro and we will see what that does...

Today I went to the "Uncomfortable" Doctor for my annual Pap Smear and exam... It has been a couple of years since I went and I want to get back on track so I am doing the circuit... It was uncomfortable as usual... and it got worse when she stuck a finger in my ass, which came as a surprise. I guess after 40 they do rectal exams too. I can understand why men don't care for that... I mean, How about buying me a drink first?

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Seriously? Bandfree but imprisoned by hunger and cravings....

Seriously? I am not sure what this part of my journey is all about.....

Seriously... I am still very aware of my body just like I was with my band, but I get headaches from hunger and that is a new and annoying thing... Physical Hunger is a new and annoying thing.
I ate a turkey burger the other day.... with the bun. Seriously?
I ate 2 1/2 pancakes for breakfast yesterday.... I mean. Seriously?
I just ate a whole Roll last week.... Really? With Butter... Seriously? If I keep that up and I will have more Rolls, and not the Edible kind, either.
I have my psych appt today which is the last loop I have to jump though... to move on to the next part of my journey.
I don't crave sweets as much... That's a Good thing! A Really Good Thing...
I get Full now.... which sucks, since I forgot how uncomfortable that can be.... So I am trying to eat less but that leaves me hungry, I am not sure what to do but I'll figure it out.
My regular routine doesn't work as well, as it used to.... but I will get through the next 2 months somehow.
I have been walking alot these days.... since I am not allowed to get in the pool for a few more weeks.
I am trying not to slip back into all the bad habits that got me in this mess, but it is a constant fight.
I still didn't go to my PCP to speak to her about Appetite Suppressants, I hate taking drugs even if It might help me for the next couple months.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Lean Cuisine – Roasted Garlic Chicken

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Bandless Bandit!.... A Life in Pause!

I am LapBand free and Binging like a Bandit.... I only started eating normal food less than a week ago. I was on liquid before that and didn't even notice that my band was gone... Well, It is GONE.... Big Time!

I haven't had real bread in 2 1/2 years, and i didn't really miss it until my band was removed... I have eaten bread 3 times in the last week.... It is good! but I don't wanna fall into old habits.
I went to the Olive Garden Never Ending Pasta Bowl and ate a bowl and a half of pasta.... I loved it, which is weird since I didn't really like Pasta after i was banded. I will stay away from Olive Garden for a long while....
I am trying to eat the same size servings but I find I am still hungry afterwards..... It's gonna be a long 2 months unbanded and fighting off the binge. I am keeping crap out of the house and trying to get by on smaller meals. I don't want to gain alot of weight between surgeries, because even though losing weight is amazing, relosing is not as fun.
I asked my surgeon to prescribe an appetite suppressant.... but he won't do that, so I am planning on asking my PCP this week. I know I should be able to have some control over myself but I need to be realistic, I am an addict and my less than thrilling restriction is now gone completely. I am fine during the day, but when the clock strikes 9pm or so.... I am ravenous... like Cinderella coach turning into a pumpkin, mine would turn into a Pumpkin Pie. A Good Friend suggested getting an appetite suppressant that I could take after dinner... and it sounds like something I should try. I have never taken an appetite suppressant before and I don't really like to take drugs at all. Does anyone have a suggestion?
I feel better without my band though... No Acid Reflux, No stomach issues, no vomiting, etc.
On a happier note, We finished paying off our cruise in December with my winnings from the Casino the other day.... I figured, Why Not? Something to look forward to... and One less thing to worry about!
About the Casino trip, It was a day trip to a casino in our area.... I won a radio station prize which consisted of $100 free slot play, $100 horse racing vouchers, $200 Restaurant voucher, I got to name one of the horse races which i named Georgie's Girl's Classic after me, and I got to get my photo with the winning jockey... and I got a rhinestone Parx Casino tote bag full of other prizes. I used the free play and brought home $312... Which doesn't sound like alot but I am an addictive personality so I was extremely proud that I walked away and didn't lose my winnings. I walked away... I kept my winnings.