Sunday, September 11, 2011

Food... A Love-Hate Relationship.


Well, I've been realizing that Food is a nuisance to me. What I want to eat, Is not what I should eat, and what I need to eat, doesn't interest me. I am burned out. It has been almost 18 months and I hate thinking so much about what I can do to get off this plateau or what I should do to jumpstart a half dead metabolism. What I am doing... Isn't working. I usually eat right... but I am bored with all that gets me by and I get annoyed with not being able to afford to try the recipes that I think will awake my bored sleeping appetite. I still want sweets... anything made with sugar will do. Even Sugar-free stuff can engulf me in a binge. So I am staying away, which fills me with regret since my weight won't budge. Why am I staying away from all the treats, if I am not losing weight? I went to my new Lapband Doctor who was thrilled with my progress, but I told him... This progress is stalled. I had this same progress almost 6 months ago and something is wrong, besides the occasional giving in to sweets. He told me that at my high original BMI, I should have been encouraged to have the bypass or the sleeve. I explained that I originally went in for the Gastric Bypass because that's all I knew but when the Surgeon suggested the Lapband and I did some research, I thought since it is helpful with maintenance it would be great for me. The Sleeve was never mentioned because it wasn't that widely used here in the US almost 2 years ago. I really have been thinking that I should have trusted myself to have gastric bypass, but I thought I would fail and gain back the weight like alot of people do... and I may even do that with my lapband. Anyway, the Doctor is going to do some tests... basically, an Upper GI and some blood tests. And we'll take it from there. I am concerned that I get stuck on all kinds of things, except everything unhealthy. Twice last week, I felt stuck on a greek yogurt. I haven't had a fill in like a year.... why do I feel like I keep getting tighter instead of looser? Anyway, in summary... I workout and have severe pain in both knees, hips and back. So I just try to be more active and workout only in the water... which limits my gym options since this is the great White north and outdoor pools are closed half the year. I eat right most of the time but am struggling with Stuck incidents and boredom with my regular menu options. I have to watch my finances which keeps me from trying alot of different menu options at one time. And I wonder when I will get over my obsession with Sweets, or if I will ever get over it. I am concerned that this incredibly high weight is what my body likes since I spent most of my adult life around this weight. Should I be happy that I lost over 130 pounds and my health has done a complete turnaround? Because this weight is now wearing on me? I felt better for a long while and now I am feeling worn out and tired all the time... These and other random whinings will be answered on the next Episode of Stuck in the Middle with Food.

7 comments:

  1. Hi Maria
    I'm so sorry to read that you're struggling at the moment; I can fully appreciate what you're going through with foods that will/won't work with your band as I'm feeling the same right now - I feel like all I eat is chocolate and biscuits (cookies), or crackers and crisps. If I eat 'proper' food, I get stuck or feel uncomfortably full after just a couple of mouthfuls, even with something like soup. I've booked myself to see my surgeon the day before I fly to Chicago and I'm going to ask for a small unfill to see if that helps. Tina said that her surgeon had mentioned that the band can actually get tighter due to a build-up of scar tissue, so I wonder if that's what has happened to both of us?
    Anyway, I really hope you get some answers soon; stay positive - 130lbs is an awesome amount of weight to have lost, I think you should be proud of yourself for doing so well.

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  2. You are an inspiration! The amount of weight you have already lost is simply amazing. I hope you figure it out. I posted about Sugar on Saturday, it is the devil in disguise!

    You know that we are here for you and are totally behind you on this, I do not believe you will gain back that weight simply because you do have the determination to get it off. Slow and steady wins the race.

    Can I ask if you are logging your food? Are you sure you are getting in the right kinds of protein and enough Calories and Protein? I would begin here.

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  3. Sorry to hear that you're struggling, but hopefully you can get some answers from your doctor after your tests. Just know that you are still so much healthier than you were 2 years ago and you need to celebrate that fact. Don't look at yourself as a failure EVER, Maria. You have come so far and you will reach your goals. It's always going to be a battle with all of us, but remember that you're a fighter and a winner and that if you check out mentally and throw in the towel, it definitely won't get better. You're stronger than that!!

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  4. I'm going to hug you so much and you will be hugging back so the exercise will throw us both off of the dang plateau. Don't be sad sweet Maria- I have faith in it all, especially you. We will get through this! love you :)

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  5. You should absolutely be over the moon with your weight loss of 130 lbs! You have come so far Maria....DO NOT GIVE UP NOW! Keep going to your doc and do what he tells you to do. Let us know how you make out with your upper GI.

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  6. Hey girl. I hear ya. Loud and clear. I was where you were about 6 months ago. Bored with food. On a 6 month plateau. Sick and tired of it. Wondering if this is where my body wanted to be.

    I know it's not for everyone, but I started Atkins with my husband, and while I only stuck with it for a month or so, it seemed to kick start my metabolism. I haven't been following it really at all, yet I have lost 60 lbs since then. And believe me when I say I am not being a perfect bandster. At all.

    Also, I'm another whose band gets tighter as I lose. I have not had a fill since May 2010. Yep, almost 18 months ago! I did have a small unfill almost a year ago, but seriously, the more I lose, the tighter I get. We are special, I guess! ;)

    Hang in there - I know it's easier said than done, but you have come so far, I hate to see you get discouraged! xoxoxoxo

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  7. Aw, Maria, I am so sorry you are at such a difficult place. I am glad your surgeon seems to be on board with you, and wants to work with you - I've heard some horror stories about some people's surgeons. I hope he's got some idea on how to kick start you off this plateau - I've been there, and I know how frustrating it is. Sending you hugs from the Great White North-er [Canada!]

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