Sunday, September 11, 2011
Food... A Love-Hate Relationship.
Well, I've been realizing that Food is a nuisance to me. What I want to eat, Is not what I should eat, and what I need to eat, doesn't interest me. I am burned out. It has been almost 18 months and I hate thinking so much about what I can do to get off this plateau or what I should do to jumpstart a half dead metabolism. What I am doing... Isn't working. I usually eat right... but I am bored with all that gets me by and I get annoyed with not being able to afford to try the recipes that I think will awake my bored sleeping appetite. I still want sweets... anything made with sugar will do. Even Sugar-free stuff can engulf me in a binge. So I am staying away, which fills me with regret since my weight won't budge. Why am I staying away from all the treats, if I am not losing weight? I went to my new Lapband Doctor who was thrilled with my progress, but I told him... This progress is stalled. I had this same progress almost 6 months ago and something is wrong, besides the occasional giving in to sweets. He told me that at my high original BMI, I should have been encouraged to have the bypass or the sleeve. I explained that I originally went in for the Gastric Bypass because that's all I knew but when the Surgeon suggested the Lapband and I did some research, I thought since it is helpful with maintenance it would be great for me. The Sleeve was never mentioned because it wasn't that widely used here in the US almost 2 years ago. I really have been thinking that I should have trusted myself to have gastric bypass, but I thought I would fail and gain back the weight like alot of people do... and I may even do that with my lapband. Anyway, the Doctor is going to do some tests... basically, an Upper GI and some blood tests. And we'll take it from there. I am concerned that I get stuck on all kinds of things, except everything unhealthy. Twice last week, I felt stuck on a greek yogurt. I haven't had a fill in like a year.... why do I feel like I keep getting tighter instead of looser? Anyway, in summary... I workout and have severe pain in both knees, hips and back. So I just try to be more active and workout only in the water... which limits my gym options since this is the great White north and outdoor pools are closed half the year. I eat right most of the time but am struggling with Stuck incidents and boredom with my regular menu options. I have to watch my finances which keeps me from trying alot of different menu options at one time. And I wonder when I will get over my obsession with Sweets, or if I will ever get over it. I am concerned that this incredibly high weight is what my body likes since I spent most of my adult life around this weight. Should I be happy that I lost over 130 pounds and my health has done a complete turnaround? Because this weight is now wearing on me? I felt better for a long while and now I am feeling worn out and tired all the time... These and other random whinings will be answered on the next Episode of Stuck in the Middle with Food.