Friday, October 8, 2010

The Cheesesteak.. stuck to my ass! and other works in progress.

Ok, I'm home and I've realized a few things while I was in Philly... 1)If I still lived up there among my people, I would find every pound that I lost. It's not just that the food is awesome(Cheesesteaks, Soft Pretzels, Rice Pudding, Scrapple, and all the pizza and hoagies/Subs are better because the bread is better), but being around my whole family brings up old eating habits... Moderation is not a word that I learned in my family or an action used in my family, but my metabolism can't handle that lifestyle and I know it. Now that I'm back I am struggling to get back in the groove... but I'll get there. 2) My nephews are probably the cutest angels in the whole world... well, most likely they are. 3) I have always been a people pleaser... but I didn't know it. I want people to like me so I become who I think they want me to be or "tone" myself down for them if need be... It is a good thing sometimes, but it is not constant. I feel like my family does not love me unconditionally and that I have to work on keeping them liking me... I like myself most of the time but feel like others need a different version of me to grow to love. The reason that i mentioned this is because in Chicago, i was myself. i was the true Maria. i was funny when i felt like it, thoughtful when i needed to be, graceful when the mood struck me, and I realized that I am a work in progress... always re-evaluating what i am or want to be. I know I sometimes rub people the wrong way and sometimes my sarcasm is too biting, or sharp, but I am trying to be or become the best me... I can be.

10 comments:

  1. Hi Maria. I so know what you mean about modifying yourself in order to be what you think people want you to be and to gain their approval, I do it all the time. I've been known to even change my accent in order to "fit in" with whoever I'm talking to without even realising it.

    It is so relieving when you find ppl you can be who you really are around. That's great you found it in Chicago, with all the other bandits. Sounds like you all had the best time.

    V.

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  2. This is a wonderful realization you came to! You should never have to "tone yourself down" for anyone, especially your family! If someone doesn't like you, that is their problem. Not everyone is going to get along with everyone! We are all made to be different for a reason. I think it is good that you are trying to be the best version of yourself, just just remain loyal to who you are, and not who you think you should be.

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  3. That can so totally be me. But I also find as I am getting older that I am am who I am. Beyond the bad habits that I feel I need to change to LIVE I am going to be sarcastic and sometimes just plain dumb! But as long as I am healthy, happy, and a good person then I can just be me! Thank you for sharing! :)

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  4. Hi Maria! I really relate to this post! One of the things I've loved about aging gracefully (ha) is that I'm FINALLY accepting who I really am. The best part is getting to the point where you know you can't please everyone, so it's no longer a self expectation. It really is a work in progress and I appreciate you sharing your thoughts and feelings on this subject.

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  5. I totally know how you feel about modifying yourself to 'fit in'. I did that for over a year with my in-laws, 4 mths ago I finally decided to be myself and tell them just how offensive the things they said and did were. Now they don't talk to us....wish I would have done it sooner LOL. Glad you had a great time in Philly! I miss you roomie...(((hugs)))

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  6. I too spent the bulk of my life being what people expected or needed me to be. For me I just never wanted to make waves - didn't want to stand out or be noticed. I think we're all a work in progress and having found this community and taken the step to get a band and to know yourself well enough to know living in Philly full time wouldn't help you get to the you you want to be are all big huge signs that you are well on your way! Keep up the good work!

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  7. I loved you in Chicago...so I'm glad it was the real you!

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  8. I'm with you on this whole post. If I lived back in Brazil I'd gain everything I've lost and more. I'm in love with the food there!

    I modify myself too to fit in. I always have ever since high school, but as I got older I gave up and now I'm just being me. I'd really love to me you someday!

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  9. Moderation is not really something I learned at home either!!!!! It makes it so much harder when you are around those who kind of "trigger" you to eat poorly.

    Breanne
    www.ladylapband.blogspot.com

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  10. I will never be satisfied with just one piece of chocolate.... Maria i say we invent the yummiest creamiest chocolate thats fat free and make millions!:P

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