What's all this about.... Anyway?

                 Welcome Back Me.... I am dedicated to doing better on this blog thing. I am still me... Maria. I am a Daughter, Sister, Aunt, Wife, Friend.... I love to laugh, and to make others laugh. As I write this, I am watching Amy, the documentary of Amy Winehouse's life. I love her voice and her incredible talent. It's a tragedy that she died so young. I am starting to babble... which is one of my annoying but loveable quirks. Back on track.....

                  I love movies... I am a movie buff, I see them to escape... sometimes to escape boredom of a life well-lived, sometimes to escape my depression and anxiety that I have dealt with for as long as I can remember... and sometimes to see the drama that my happy-go-lucky life lacks. Does it sound like I am saying I have the perfect life? Well, I don't. I do have a wonderful marriage but I deal with alot of pain, financial shortages, Clinical depression and Anxiety, and family drama. Along with a raging food addiction, mostly to sugar.... which has caused my foxy curves to get more than a little out of control.... I'm talking curves that could send a car off a cliff. Anyway, I am a work in Progress. 

                 My Husband George is my best friend and while I am typing this I can't help smiling when I think of him. I adore him, completely. He is my Happy Place. I can't believe the luck, the blessing that meeting him was... I can't think of who I would be without him, but I am glad I don't have to find out. We met 24+ years ago, and have been married for 20 years so far. He also loves movies and traveling... It was like we were literally made for each other. And he's a total hottie. Tall, dark hair, and beautiful blue eyes with a touch of green and gold. His black hair has a touch of silver now and there's less of it now... It only makes me realize that my dream of growing old together is coming true.... 

                  Well, I have babbled enough for today.... but I am back for good. So look for more real soon!                   

         

China top..... making the Great Wall my Bitch.

In December, We are going to China. It's a big trip for us and i really don't want my physical disabilities to hold me back from experiencing all that China has to offer. I'm trying to jump start a diet for a month or two....instead of relying on my healthy eating habits, which aren't always healthy as they could be. 

     I was thinking Atkins is the best way for me to knock that sugar monkey off my back for a while.... do any of you have any suggestions?

Just a random thought or two....

Well, I love my dog... he's like the son we never had. He loves human food... I guess they all do. When I see him sit and stare at us when we eat, it makes me think of my own food addiction. When people are eating around me, I think to myself... What will I say if they offer me some? do I try it? Do I refuse? Why haven't they already offered? Should I be eating as well? I'm sorta waiting for a smack on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.,. think too much about food, and don't plan well enough these days. I love when my sleeve stops me from overeating but I don't feel that it reminds me to eat more often and I go from fine to starving in 2 seconds flat. I know I need to eat more often, and keep to small amounts. That's what I want to do... and I hope I don't look like a begging dog when I eat with folks. I am a work in Progress...

Holiday Hell....

Well, Who doesn't look forward to the holidays.... Bright Lights, Big family gatherings, and feasting... I can't wait to see my family, but eating is always a big part of the celebration and my weight loss is mostly at a stall these days. I know it sounds like a broken record but I am going to start the new year fresh... with an aggressive diet and a little bit of exercise to boot. I am thinking about Weight Watchers.... Does anyone have any experiences with Weight watchers that they want to share? I think I need the structure of a diet once in a while to get back on track or jump start a stall... What do you think? Those of you who haven't given up on me... that is.

The Science of Giving up....

Well, I had pretty much given up.... 


My health was so bad after my last surgery that I had to struggle to live... then struggle to heal... then struggle to cope... With Depression, with disappointment, with hopelessness...

I need to accept what I cannot change and change the things I can.... I feel like crap alot. I am in pain, and still struggle with loss of breath from my left lung's collapse. I know what to do to lose weight.... and i have to do that without taking long breaks. I am not active, but I do make good choices with food. I need to make more good choices with food and force myself to get activated. 

Today, I went to my gyno for my annual checkup.... I didn't dread getting on the scale... I had accepted my fate. I was shocked that I had lost a little weight... I had stayed at the same weight for a long while after gaining some back. I was expecting a gain....or more of the same. Note to self.... Don't accept your fate!

Winter Blues.....

It's cold....

Philadelphia winters can be freezing cold...Cons!

1) Too cold to go out walking....
2) Black ice sucks...
3) You get wet all the time.... and not in a good way.
4) Alot of Water ice and ice cream places shut down for the winter...
5) Slush is... yucky!
6) I hate showering since your freeze your caboose off...
7) Not flip flop weather....
8) Bulky clothes make you look fatter...
9) Snow and ice may be pretty to look at but it sucks to drive, walk, or shovel....
10) Being cooped up makes you stir crazy....

Cold Weather ....Pros.

1)I love hats...
2) Boots are awesome too....
3)More sex....
4) Hot drinks are amazing...
5) Accessorizing rocks....
6) Fireplaces are so warm and cozy, and sexy.
7) White Christmas...
8) I love sweater dresses with leggings
9) Cuddling....
10) You appreciate beautiful sunny weather more.... 

Memories like this make it totally worth it.....

Bariatric Foodie: The Bariatric Foodie Season of Giving - Week TWO!

Bariatric Foodie: The Bariatric Foodie Season of Giving - Week TWO!: Firstly, congrats to the winners of week one! They are: Lori Follett Laura Sampieri Shepherd Annemarie Wilt I've sent you emails ...