Just a random thought or two....

Well, I love my dog... he's like the son we never had. He loves human food... I guess they all do. When I see him sit and stare at us when we eat, it makes me think of my own food addiction. When people are eating around me, I think to myself... What will I say if they offer me some? do I try it? Do I refuse? Why haven't they already offered? Should I be eating as well? I'm sorta waiting for a smack on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.,. think too much about food, and don't plan well enough these days. I love when my sleeve stops me from overeating but I don't feel that it reminds me to eat more often and I go from fine to starving in 2 seconds flat. I know I need to eat more often, and keep to small amounts. That's what I want to do... and I hope I don't look like a begging dog when I eat with folks. I am a work in Progress...

Holiday Hell....

Well, Who doesn't look forward to the holidays.... Bright Lights, Big family gatherings, and feasting... I can't wait to see my family, but eating is always a big part of the celebration and my weight loss is mostly at a stall these days. I know it sounds like a broken record but I am going to start the new year fresh... with an aggressive diet and a little bit of exercise to boot. I am thinking about Weight Watchers.... Does anyone have any experiences with Weight watchers that they want to share? I think I need the structure of a diet once in a while to get back on track or jump start a stall... What do you think? Those of you who haven't given up on me... that is.

The Science of Giving up....

Well, I had pretty much given up.... 


My health was so bad after my last surgery that I had to struggle to live... then struggle to heal... then struggle to cope... With Depression, with disappointment, with hopelessness...

I need to accept what I cannot change and change the things I can.... I feel like crap alot. I am in pain, and still struggle with loss of breath from my left lung's collapse. I know what to do to lose weight.... and i have to do that without taking long breaks. I am not active, but I do make good choices with food. I need to make more good choices with food and force myself to get activated. 

Today, I went to my gyno for my annual checkup.... I didn't dread getting on the scale... I had accepted my fate. I was shocked that I had lost a little weight... I had stayed at the same weight for a long while after gaining some back. I was expecting a gain....or more of the same. Note to self.... Don't accept your fate!

Winter Blues.....

It's cold....

Philadelphia winters can be freezing cold...Cons!

1) Too cold to go out walking....
2) Black ice sucks...
3) You get wet all the time.... and not in a good way.
4) Alot of Water ice and ice cream places shut down for the winter...
5) Slush is... yucky!
6) I hate showering since your freeze your caboose off...
7) Not flip flop weather....
8) Bulky clothes make you look fatter...
9) Snow and ice may be pretty to look at but it sucks to drive, walk, or shovel....
10) Being cooped up makes you stir crazy....

Cold Weather ....Pros.

1)I love hats...
2) Boots are awesome too....
3)More sex....
4) Hot drinks are amazing...
5) Accessorizing rocks....
6) Fireplaces are so warm and cozy, and sexy.
7) White Christmas...
8) I love sweater dresses with leggings
9) Cuddling....
10) You appreciate beautiful sunny weather more.... 

Memories like this make it totally worth it.....

Bariatric Foodie: The Bariatric Foodie Season of Giving - Week TWO!

Bariatric Foodie: The Bariatric Foodie Season of Giving - Week TWO!: Firstly, congrats to the winners of week one! They are: Lori Follett Laura Sampieri Shepherd Annemarie Wilt I've sent you emails ...

Demanded by my STS.... an Update from beyond the Sleeve.

Bullets... I guess.

• I have been taking this long recovery one day at a time.... I try not to worry about the weight loss or lack off, but it is difficult to go through all of this and not hope for a silver lining.
• I am making an appt to see a Pulmonary specialist since my lung is not back to normal, It feels like it's bruised when I take a big breath, and I get short of breath even gasping for air.
• I have lost around 73 pounds since my surgery, which is a great start... but I know I could do better. 
• I love how much time I get to spend with my George.... We see a lot of movie screenings, and concerts, and are planning a cruise for our next anniversary.
• I love Jen... My Sleeve Twin Sister. She has been incredibly supportive during this tough time, and so inspirational.
• My brother is mad at me and is keeping my little angels from me, I am starting to get mad at him too.
• My Mom got remarried on October 17th to a man she meet around 50 years ago, before she met and married my Dad. I am happy for her, when we lost my Dad 10 years ago.... She was damaged, and it felt like 1/2 of her died with him, but now with Charlie who has spent the last 5 decades loving her and filled with regret... She is content and loved. She has a companion and some pretty great sex... I should have warned you, she's a over sharer....lol. It is kinda cool that He was the first person she had sex with and may end up the last person she has sex with...lol
• My eating as been good but not great... I could do better... Since I am not really able to workout except for swimming, which is difficult to force in this cold, even if it is indoors. But I am working on it.
• I am still on the blood thinners and I am finally therapeutic... which means I only need blood tests once a month instead of once a week... Yippee!
• I feel pretty good about myself these days... I take a lot of extra vitamins to help strengthen my immunity since the missing spleen weakens it...like Vitamin C, Vitamin B12, Vitamin A... but the Vitamin A seems to make me break out like a teenager, which I didn't even do when I was a teenager...lol

Bullets... from the lost Blogger.

Well, I fell off the Earth.... or at least my blogging did.

1. I am still on the Blood Thinners... But so far, I haven't been at a therapeutic level since I left the hospital the last time. In order for the blood thinners to work, I have to be between 2-3 on my weekly blood tests, but I stay around 1.3
2. I still struggle with my breathing when I exert myself... and it is different from the normal Morbidly Obese I'm out of breath breathing, It feels like my lung is still not working right. 
3. I don't know how much weight I have lost recently... but I feel like my clothes fit better and I love my sleeve. 
4. I am going to DisneyWorld this month with my brother and his family.... My sweet angels first trip to Disney. I am over the moon excited! 
5. Since I am on the blood thinners, I am not allowed to eat most green vegetables and anything else high in Vitamin K. It truly sucks... no salad, no broccoli and no soybeans, which are several of my staples.
6. I love the Quest protein bars... They are amazing! 
7. I have been going to the movies... with my quest bar, and it has been great. I loved alot of the summer movies. Most of them even. 
8. I found white bean chips that I loved.... and now can't find them anywhere. I crave salty snacks these days. I also love the Dannon Oikos Dips. Delicious! I eat them with raw carrots and celery or snap pea crisps....I can't wait to try the Lentil crisps.
9. I am amazed at how little I eat before being satisfied, but I get hungry after 2-3 hours.
10. I am very excited about Disney!!! Seeing it through the eyes of my niece and nephews.