Eggface is Santa... This year! Giveaway!

Our friend Shelly over at "The World according to Eggface" is giving away a great laptop lunch kit... Bento Box style. It is great for us Bandsters who need to have a little of this and a little of that... Anyway, you have to enter to win! Check it out! http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/2010/12/ho-ho-bento-holiday-giveaway.html

Help me Santa Claus!!!!

Dear Santa, This year all i want for Christmas besides World Peace, of course... Is Friggin' Will Power, and Self-control... because I am really wanting to eat my way through all the Christmas Joy and am afraid that my round belly will shake when i laugh like a bowl full of jelly, no offense... which i will be head first in especially if it's Raspberry. Well, I guess I should be glad that I am far from my family with the cookie baking and the chocolate making... well, let's not kid ourselves, pretty much anything sweet. I love my sweets... candy, cookies, cake... I really love Cake! How can i say this? I wish Cake and chocolate tasted bad... after my surgery, SAY WHAT? Did I just say that? I think it's a frickin' Christmas Miracle.... when I admit that I would be better off if Cake Sucked! I wouldn't mind the over indulgence, if it only came but once a year... but a day without chocolate is not a good day... Anyway, Santa, I've taken up enough of your time... Instead of giving up Cake, could you possibly make my metabolism super fast so I have to eat more or I'll become too thin... I'd like to try that for a while. Thanx, I've been a good girl... most of the time, and when i haven't, I've had enough sense to destroy the evidence... or at least eat it all and blame the dog. Your loyal friend, *Maria*

Mama's got a brand new... Shoe?

Mama's got a brand new ...Shoe? I am sure you've realized from my constant whining about my state of health 9 months ago... pre-band? It was bad... and I am realizing each day just how bad it was... Anyway, I had settled on a life of slip-on shoes... even my sneakers were slip on... Hiding the painful truth that I couldn't put on my own shoes... or socks. Thank God for my sweet understanding George... and for the fact that he never had to wipe my ass. I was afraid that i would end up there... Don't go there! Takes on new meaning, doesn't it? I am thrilled to the point of breaking into a skip and singing What a wonderful world daily these days... so something must be done to prepare my feet for that lifestyle! Well, these are my first pair of Lace them uppers... Serious Kicks for a serious walker. I am my own ass wiper! You hear me world! I'm putting on my shoes and socks one foot at a time... I am ABLED! Well, I have been realizing the need for "Real" sneakers for a while, ever since one of my Dr. Scholl's slip on sneakers... went flying across the gym when a recumbent bike got a little ahead of me. Along with the fact that my routine flip flop life is coming to a close come April when I move home to Philly. I love my Fit flops... And Skeptic as i may be, they do work out your calves, thighs, and buttocks! I have a firmer fanny due to my new fit floppin' lifestyle... so since our Florida days have been less sunny more chilly these days. I got some New Balance Rock n Tones... They aren't the new fancy True balances but thanx to the Outlets... last year's model was less than 1/2 the heavy price tag... and 25% extra percent off... My critique Is that they do ROCK! and TONE! These shoes are made for walking... and that's just what they do... one of these days these shoes are gonna walk all over you! Or over to you at least!

Body Imagination?

Well, here it is... The post I have been dreading to write, but Tessie Rose has inspired me today with her heartfelt post. It can be overwhelming at times... I went into this journey truly believing that I was doing this for my health... not my body image. Well, my health is a 100% better... but my self-image is 100% worse... How, you may ask, after losing 104.3 pounds could my body image be worse? I don't think my defense mechanisms allowed me to see how big I was... I mean, i knew I was loved and I knew i was overweight... even morbidly obese, but 475 pounds... never was imagined, until the cruel scale broke down my defenses... and opened my eyes to the cold hard truth. Luckily, when I was weighed I was in a bariatric seminar... obviously on my way here but I started seeing photos differently, and my behaviors differently. I always hid halfway behind my husband or others in photos to delude myself... i had alot of close ups on my face but not many full-length shots... if they were taken that way I would crop them... I unconsciously knew that i was unhappy with my body... but I distracted myself with everything else... not making the time to be there for "ME"... Well, now I make alot of time for myself. To choose good food options... and when I choose not so good options... I take my time and savor every bite of the Yum. I make time to blog and release all these thoughts from my overactive mind. I take time to be the friend I want to have... I take the time to compliment... if I think it, I say it! It tends to freak folks out from time to time but i feel like people need to hear nice things about themselves and no one takes the time to say nice things, unless they want something. On the same point... I try to take compliments I'm given with the grace and appreciation that they deserve. I know that people are more likely to take the time to say nasty things... so I am fearful still since my self image is healing slowly. When people ask how much weight I've lost... I am nervous to say that I've lost 100 pounds because I believe that they're thinking... "You've lost 100 pounds and you're still that fat?"... Now that my defenses are not as strong... it's like alot of the weight I've lost has come from my protective shell. I am also angry... When i see people being mistreated because of their weight. I joke about my weight all the time, but It bothers me when I see other people do that... about their weight. I am a Forever Fatty... and I am proud of myself for how far I've come... It is a long road ahead... but I need to realize how hard I've worked by taking each necessary step. I may never be a supermodel... but I have always been one to my George and that's enough... Today, I say goodbye to 104.3 pounds and good riddance! It's my journey but I want to make my husband proud, my mother proud, and my brother proud... Is that silly?

Day 3!!! I'm eating again! And 5.3 pounds gone.

I am done with the liquid days of the 5 day pouch test... Yesterday was easier than day one... But I really was looking forward to chewing... It is hard to get your chew on with sugar-free jello! Anyway... I wanted to get any idea how much the liquids flushed out... and i am down 5.3 pounds. Amazing! I expected maybe 1/2 of that. I know that the proteins are basically what i eat in my normal diet... so i don't expect to lose much more than normal but I am also staying away from all carbs instead of most carbs so maybe that will make a difference. Outside of Band news, I am looking forward to starting my Christmas Season with the Candlelight Processional at EPCOT this friday... We are going with Kim(Good-bye Fatty McButterpants) and her Dad. We have become very good friends since we met in Chicago, another blessing from my blog. I love reading about each of your lives and ups and down... I am truly inspired by your successes and saddened by your losses... unless they are the good losses. You are all Losers! I am blessed to be a Loser as well... and every pound i lose, I know i owe it to you as much as to my food choices... and exercise(What there is of it)... Anyway, I can't wait to meet Kim's Dad... i met her Mom when i met her for Lunch while she was visiting her Mom and family... They don't live far from Orlando... When I move I will be leaving a few friends behind but I am relieved to know that you are always a web address away... and i take you with me on my journey no matter where it takes me. Well, I wanted to have the whole Magical Disney Christmas Experience for our last Christmas here... i will see everything through different eyes... and a different body. I feel wonderful walking around without the pain and breathing issues(Out of breath) I had 9 months ago... It is an amazing time to visit DisneyWorld!

Anyway... A bad day... Liquidified!

Well, I enjoyed my mini-getaway... Christmas spirit and all. unfortunately, The rest of the weekend was quite stressful... The yard sale didn't go over as well as we hoped but the unsold went to the Salvation Army and Goodwill so Reduce, reuse, recycle.. and all. I was on my TOM all weekend and the combo of stress and TOM= Chocolate... and when I went to the Doctor for my fill, i had gained almost a pound since my last weigh-in... Which wasn't great news, but I had started the 5 day pouch test this morning... and hopefully, My starving and torture will get me back on track. My Doctor's office emailed me this photo that they took of me the day before my surgery... to cheer me up. And i feel better, much better... i have come a long way these last 8 months. The future is bright! I have the Eye of the Tiger... I know since my stomach keeps growling... 24 hours to food!

Sitting on Santa's lap and other festivities!

Yes this is me... Sitting on Santa's Lap, and it's been 3 decades since I last sat there... When I was a child, people would complain about how bony my butt was landing me the family nickname bony butt for a while... I hated it but for the last 25 years, i would kill to get that nickname back...
I have come along way since last Christmas... 100 pounds ago. I look forward to seeing what next Christmas brings... it's now 8 months and change since my surgery... and i feel like i lost 10 years with the 100 pounds.
Here i am with George at my Surgeon's Alumni Christmas Party... You can imagine the food at a shindig such as this... Protein, Protein, Protein, raw veggies, and Sugar free jello... but I enjoyed it.
Here i am with Susan, our bariatric coordinator... she is a lapbander herself and takes amazing care of us... Last but not least... This is me with Doctor Rehnke... in his festive Christmas tie... When we move i will really miss my amazing, sweet surgeon... Anyway, I couldn't miss this Alumni Christmas party since it was the first one for me... and the last one for me. Unless, i happen to be down here around the next one, I'll miss it. I really didn't know anyone there since i live almost 2 hours away, i go to a closer support group in Celebration, FL. I didn't get to meet anyone at the hospital when i had my surgery because I was so out of it and had my own room. I do plan on visiting some new patients right after they have surgery buti need to plan it around when I have my appt with the doctor or a concert or something... in the area. Anyway, most of the bandsters outside of the blogs i met in my support group at Celebration and they have their surgeon there... But I went to Chicago with a wonderful group of supportive bandsters.... BOOBS, to be exact. Well, i got distracted from a point I was going to make. There was a girl Dawn who won a lapband surgery through my doctor and Allergen. You may have read about her on LapBandTalk well, i have met her a couple times, at a support group and i saw her today at the party... She's lost 108 pounds in the 7 months since her surgery... And since she's been so successful, Allergen and the surgeons' office are donating 2 more this year. So That's awesome news for self-payers everywhere. check around your area to see if there are any contests by surgeons there... And remember that my surgeon's diet is Lean and Green which is why her results are so good... most would never be that good, without little to no carbs. Anyway... I am happy for her, and whoever else wins the next 2 surgeries. As for me, i am staying in a hotel here in Clearwater so i can go to my doctor's office for a fill tomorrow and save gas and hassle. I am officially starting the 5 day pouch test tomorrow... i'll keep you updated on that process too.